Author Archives: lindseygoddard
The Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Weirdest and Creepiest Horror Movie Dances
“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.” – William W. Purkey
“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
“Do a loony-goony dance
‘Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain’t been there before.” – Shel Silverstein
Dancing. It makes us human. Whether we do it in front of others or bust a move in private when we hear our favorite song, most of us have enjoyed a little dancing. But in horror movies, dancing takes on a whole new element. It’s either absurdly out-of-place, insanely cheesy, eerily seductive, or downright creepy.
I offer you my Top Twelve Weirdest and Creepiest Horror Movie Dances. They are all listed here for different reasons… but all of them possess a certain WTF factor. Like seriously…. WTF?
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter – Total Spaz Dance
Okay, we all know this wasn’t the final chapter. But hopefully it was the final chapter in Crispin Glover’s dancing efforts. What is happening here?!?!?!
Insidious – Tiptoe Through The Tulips
Hey, even the ghosts of creepy little dead boys like to dance. Don’t hate.
Freddy’s Revenge – Jesse Cleans His Room
Jesse just moved into a new house and his parents are nagging him to get his room straightened up. So he vents his frustration in this awesome and very uncomfortable dance! Hahaha.
Dead & Breakfast – Zombie Line Dance
I don’t even… uhhh…. I don’t even know what to say about this one. I’m so confused. Lol.
Carrie – Spinning
I have to mention the dance from the original Carrie because I refuse to believe I’m the only person in the world who can’t watch this scene without getting queasy. I mean… the spinning. The spinning is too much. *gag*
Sleepwalkers – Getting The Job Done
Sticking with Stephen King, here’s a great scene from Sleepwalkers. Man, oh man, I wish I could have this much fun at work.
Night of the Demons – There’s Something Different About Angela
Is it just me, or does this chick make demonic possession look HAWT?
Evil Dead 2 – Dance of the Headless Lover
Poor Ash. The dead just never seem to stay dead for him.
Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse – Groovy Janitor
Sadly, I couldn’t find a high-quality clip of Blake Anderson (from Comedy Central’s Workaholics) dancing his way toward doom in Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. But at least someone out there has uploaded something because, man, it’s so darn funny.
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning – Everyone’s A Critic
Hey, Jason, Violet’s dancing wasn’t that bad. It was actually sorta cute. You didn’t have to KILL her!! Sheesh!
Troll 2 – Holly Gets Down
Troll 2 was released in 1990, which meant the 80s were over. But as you can see from this clip, the 80s were still very much alive. And you have to admit, she’s got some pretty good moves.
Return of the Living Dead – Trash’s Strip Tease
Again, I apologize for the quality. It’s hard to find this video, I guess because of the adult content. But I could never leave out the nude graveyard dance from Return of the Living Dead.
So there you have it. My Top Twelve.
Horror is full of strange and wonderful dancing, so feel free to comment with your favorites. Thanks for reading.
WIHM Interview – Kelly Evans
It’s been a great Women in Horror Month, and there’s still time for one more interview. Let’s get to know author Kelly Evans.
How long have you been writing?
Since I was a kid. Especially horror. I wrote a series of short horror stories in high school last period English class, left them in my friend’s locker and she’d read them to her morning physics class the next day. I had a bit of a following apparently.
What draws you to horror?
I love being scared. Everyone does, don’t they? But I love figuring out what, exactly, will scare people. And then finding the words to express that horror.
Do you write any other genres?
I also write historical fiction. I’m currently working on a 3 book series about the queens of Anglo Saxon England, the first of which came out last year. I’m also shortly releasing a historical horror novel, set during the Black Death.
Is there a genre you’d like to attempt but haven’t?
I enjoy humour, but I’m not sure I could write an entire novel. I DO write satirical historical articles though.
Do you think women horror authors have a hard time getting acknowledged?
Yes, absolutely. Horror, especially the more graphic stuff, has always been aggressive and fearful, something associated with men. But women can be aggressive, believe me. We can also go softly softly, creeping into your subconscious and scaring the pants off you before you know we’re even there.
What is the most difficult thing you’ve ever written and why?
I had to write a novel for a master’s in writing I was doing. *I* enjoyed the story but my tutor hated it, just didn’t understand what I was trying to do. THAT was tough; I lost interest in the book and never finished it.
Who are some amazing female authors (from any genre, any style, any time-period)?
I’m a big fan of medieval female authors, it’s nice to get the perspective of a group of people who have often been swept aside in favour of their male counterparts. Julian of Norwich, Margery Kemp, the Paston Letters, Hildegarde of Bingen, all worth taking a peek at.
Besides writing, what brings a smile to your face?
Clever humour. My cats. And, mainly, my husband!
Did you have a favorite book as a child?
I adored The Cat in the Mirror by Mary Stolz, about ancient Egypt. Also No Flying in the House by Betty Brock, and of course A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle. All made a huge impression on me.
Here’s a tough one: What’s your favorite color?
Forest green.
What are you working on now, and where do you see yourself in the future?
I’m getting my historic horror ready for release, then continue with the second in my Anglo Saxon women series. I also write satirical medieval articles for my website each month, which are a LOT of fun. I’m retiring soon and will be writing full time, historical fiction and some more horror!
Where can we find you on the web?
website: http://www.kellyaevans.com
Twitter: @Chaucerbabe
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kellyevansauthor/
Thanks for your support this WiHM!
Remember, there are always female horror writers out there hungry for more readers, all twelve months of the year!
Horror Meme Hilarity
From time to time here at Dirty Little Horror, I like to post funny pics to give my fellow horror fans a giggle. Enjoy…
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WIHM Interview – Sheri Williams
It’s still Women in Horror month, so please take a few minutes and get to know author Sheri Williams. I already knew she is a fun, amazing person and a talented writer, but there were a few things I didn’t know. Let’s find out…
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How long have you been writing?
Um….since second grade? No. I really started writing about 4 years ago.
What draws you to horror?
I like to kill people. Sounds horrible, but it’s true. I’m a super optimistic person and I try to be happy, so the anger has to go somewhere. Every annoying parent at school drop off…..they all die horribly in my stories.
Do you write any other genres?
Oh yeah. Romance. Fantasy. And middle grade under a pen name 😁
Is there a genre you’d like to attempt but haven’t?
Ummm. I’ve sorta tried a bunch, in different variations. I really love Gothic stuff so would love to play around with that more.
Do you think women horror authors have a hard time getting acknowledged?
Definitely. It just doesn’t seem to be as recognized. Although, the real fans are rabid!
What is the most difficult thing you’ve ever written and why?
My first book. Fairy tale romance. It’s still the book I’m most proud of.
Who are some amazing female authors (from any genre, any style, any time-period)?
Misti Murphy, she’s my wifey. She writes dead sexy contemporary romance. I’m a huge P. Mattern fan. Quenby Olsen writes fantastic books. Huge fan. Can’t forget Lindsey Goddard, that chick is awesome. And then there’s Anne Rice and Anne McCaffrey….my heroes.
Besides writing, what brings a smile to your face?
My daughters. My hubs. Books. Doctor Who. Geeky stuff in general. And donuts.
Did you have a favorite book as a child?
Alice in Wonderland. Still my favorite to this day.
Here’s a tough one: What’s your favorite color?
Blue, color of my hair and the Tardis.
What are you working on now, and where do you see yourself in the future?
A middle grade alternative history, magical realism. And a paranormal (occult) thriller with a horror aspect.
Where can we find you on the web?
Everywhere.
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WIHM Interview – L Bachman
Today we chat with L Bachman – artist, author, and woman in horror. She makes wicked cool book covers in addition to penning her own tales. Let’s find out more…
How long have you been writing?
I have indeed! I’ve been writing since I was young, but it was only a few years ago that I began taking it seriously after forcing myself to throw caution to the wind and take the leap.
What draws you to horror?
I struggled with the genre I was writing in. I couldn’t understand genres; still have trouble from time to time honestly. The way I thought was if it’s not something that frightens me, it probably wasn’t horror, never considering that some people may be frightened by the things I wasn’t frightened by. I felt perhaps my writing wasn’t ‘scary enough’ when I read it back so it mustn’t be horror.
After I understood what I was creating, it made sense to me like someone shining a light in the dark room of my understanding of genres. I enjoy writing horror more now that I understand it. Horror, scaring others, isn’t what I intend when I write, my focus is just getting the story out before I implode, but there is appreciation in why I do what I do for at least me.
Facing fears can be cathartic, relieving even, but until the story ends, the thrill and intensity taps into something deeply rooted in all beings. That is why I’m drawn to it, facing down ‘bad guys’ or ‘bad situations’ and overcoming the fight or flight that we all deal with when dealing with the adrenaline rush we can get when reading.
Do you write any other genres?
At this moment, dark fantasy is the only one that any of my work can fall into.
Is there a genre you’d like to attempt but haven’t?
I’m working on some branching out stories from horror and dark fantasy, not a complete genre hopping, but casting out a twig to touch into those pools.
Do you think women horror authors have a hard time getting acknowledged?
I don’t think as much so now, but I can see how the history of women in horror was. There was a time when it was difficult to gain respect, for any woman writer. Many historic women writers took pen names that were either neutral or sounded more masculine.
What is the most difficult thing you’ve ever written and why?
The Painting of Martel was difficult; originally it was included in an anthology with a theme of killer clowns. I had never thought I’d write a story involving this theme and so it came hard to me, but I met my deadline. It’s been a year since it was in that anthology and after taking it, revamping it a bit, and working it into something more than it was I can say confidently that it will find a shelf space in being published on its own. May 1st, 2017 is when it goes live. Right now it’s for pre-order.
Who are some amazing female authors (from any genre, any style, any time-period)?
Personally, I find Mary Shelly and Anne Rice to be amazing writers.
Besides writing, what brings a smile to your face?
My family; my son makes me very happy, he’s so smart, and I could gush over my pride of all that he has accomplished. Family makes me truly happy beyond writing.
Did you have a favorite book as a child?
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin.
Here’s a tough one: What’s your favorite color?
Black.
What are you working on now, and where do you see yourself in the future?
Right now I’m working on several things at once. I’m writing The Burning Man, Mercy, and Necessary Evil. That’s the three I’m working on seriously, but I always have something in the works just put on simmer on the back burner.
Where can we find you on the web?
Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/writerbachman
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/authorlbachman
Facebook Fanclub:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/bachmanblasphemer
Website for Writing:
http://lbachman.wixsite.com/lbachman
Website for Design:
http://lbachman.wixsite.com/bachmandesigns
Women in Horror Month = free fiction!
Hello, horror buddies. Happy Women in Horror Month.
Being as I am a woman in horror, I’ll be posting this month about some awesome females I know. But before we get to that, I want to make everyone aware of all the free fiction floating around this month. Yes, FREE. The magic word.
First and foremost, not because it is my book, but because the promotion ends soon… I want to spread the word that my novella, Ashes of Another Life, is currently FREE on Kindle until the end of the day on Feb 3rd. Please, go snag a copy if you’re a Kindle reader! Search “Ashes of Another Life” on Amazon or click here: https://www.amazon.com/Ashes-Another-Life-Lindsey-Goddard-ebook/dp/B01KDD4ZCC/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1486043611&sr=8-1
There are lots of book giveaways this month, as women of horror plug away trying to get their names out there. Dozens of free books just waiting to be downloaded by YOU. A good place to find them is here: http://angelinetrevena.co.uk/free-horror-books
And last but certainly not least, some scary ladies got together and wrote 100 word flash horror stories. You can find those linked below and also a video about the ladies involved.
100 word flash stories: https://kellyaevans.com/women-in-horror
Thanks for reading. In the famous words of Terminator: I’ll be back.
The Dead of Winter
Here it is again. Winter. I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan. Where others see beauty in a fluffy white glazing of snow, I see only three months of hibernation. Because I hate the stuff.
It’s no mystery why my mind tends to wander to the grim topic of death. I’m in the dead of Winter here in Missouri, after all. I’ve been thinking about the dead – more specifically, how different cultures remember the dead – and decided to share what I know.
Winter takes my mind to dark places. Perhaps its icy clutches haunt me…
Over the years, humans have honored their dead in peculiar and sometimes macabre ways.
Ever heard of post-mortem photography? Straight from Wikipedia: “Post-mortem photography (also known as memorial portraiture or a mourning portrait) is the practice of photographing the recently deceased. These photographs of deceased loved ones were a normal part of American and European culture in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. Commissioned by grieving families, postmortem photographs not only helped in grieving, but often represented the only visual remembrance of the deceased and were among a family’s most precious possessions.”
No disrespect intended, but having grown up in a different century, some of these photos seem a bit disturbing now…
Look closely. The youngest child on the far left is deceased, propped up with a wooden stand. You can see the discomfort and sadness in her brother’s face.
The story goes that the photographer drew pupils on her closed eyelids to make her more life-like.
Sometimes even a man’s best friend wanted to say goodbye.
Then there’s the following photograph, which has become somewhat of an urban legend, because no one can prove or disprove the story behind it. People say the reason all the children seem to be frowning, or even grimacing, is that they are being forced to pose with a classmate who died the day before.
They say the deceased student was propped up with a wooden board and her head was tied to the board by means of a head scarf. Do you see her? Look closer…
Urban legend or not, that’s pretty creepy.
And then there are cultures like the Toraja people of Indonesia who keep their post-mortem loved ones around for weeks, months, or even years after death, until enough money is raised for a fitting and proper funeral. During this time, the deceased relative is symbolically fed, dressed, cared for and taken out, and is very much a part of their family’s lives.
But if you think post-mortem photography and mummification is strange, the thought of drinking from a human skull might push you over the edge, right? That’s probably why the Aghori tribe of India are considered taboo among their neighboring communities. They ritualistically smear themselves with cremated ashes, consume human flesh, and drink from skulls to become closer to the spiritual world of the dead.
To each his own, but that’s not quite my cup of tea.
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So there you have it. THIS is what Winter does to me, people. The dead of Winter… when the deceased whisper to us on the icy breeze, telling us to cherish our precious days, albeit bitterly cold. Winter will pass, just as humans pass, and the world will continue to spin.
Well, as usual, this has been a bit of uplifting cheer from your admin here at Dirty Little Horror. Happy Winter, folks.
The Dirty Dozen – Top Twelve BLOODY Scenes
I believe Dirty Little Horror is a special blog. We venture where others dare not tread. Yet lately, I’ve been slow to post. I love horror, of course, but sometimes I can’t think of anything to SAY about my beloved genre in order to keep you all amused. 🙂
So I sat down and asked myself, “What are some of my favorite horror movie scenes, and why?” I realized something. I have a fascination with fake blood. That runny red stuff can make or break a scene for me. I’m not just talking gore or clever ways to die. I’m talking about BLOOD, and lots of it. Picture the elevator doors in The Shining – a crimson cascade rushing down the hall. Picture that bucket tipping over on poor Carrie White, covering her from head to toe as she trembles in her homemade prom dress. These scenes are a staple of horror culture.
Here are twelve more. I’ve put these BLOODY scenes in no particular order, but I did save the bloodiest for last. I give to you…
THE DIRTY DOZEN – TOP TWELVE BLOODY SCENES
Movie: Blade (1998)
Scene: Bloodbath at the rave
Movie: The Descent (2005)
Scene: Crimson Pool
Movie: Maniac (1980)
Scene: Head shot
Movie: High Tension (2003)
Scene: Saw through the windshield
Movie: Evil Dead 2 (1987)
Scene: Pulled into the cellar
Movie: Inside (2007)
Scene: Surgery on the staircase
Movie: Piranha (2010)
Scene: Bloody beach party
Movie: Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Scene: Death bed
Movie: Mirrors (2008)
Scene: Jaw rip
Movie: Cabin in the Woods (2011)
Scene: When all the monsters come to play
Movie: Dead Alive (1982)
Scene: Nice mowing you
Movie: Evil Dead (2013)
Scene: Rainin’ blood
As always, thanks SO MUCH for visiting the site. Feel free to comment with YOUR favorite bloody scenes.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Okay, okay, I know I’ve been slacking on posting new stuff lately. But hey… I could never let today slip by without a blog post. What sort of self-respecting horror blogger would I be if I didn’t say HAPPY HALLOWEEN!?
And to celebrate? How about we get in the mood with a horror poem by Rick Powell, then I’ll share a SUPER EASY pumpkin cookie recipe you can make last minute to enjoy this evening, and to top it off… How about sex in a haunted house? Haha. That is, how about we watch the short horror film ‘Sex in a Haunted House’? 😛
The Midnight Hour
It is the time when the mortal forms succumb to rest,
The time to put your troubles and toils away till the morrow,
To not think about what has ailed you or hampered your mind,
To try to forget who has harmed you or has caused you to sorrow.
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This hour is for other things to come to life and rise from the shadows,
Things the light of day had not exposed and revealed to human eyes,
Things that have no home here in the waking dawn of daily man,
This hour is for creatures of many forms to stalk under the ebony skies.
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Some have claw or talon that can rip asunder your flesh in a minute,
Teeth that are razor sharp that will stop your scream before it has spoken,
Some are the most savage beasts of nightmares that your brain could ever conceive,
That to gaze upon them for a moment will leave your frail mind and soul broken.
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Foolish is the man who would brave to venture out into this hellish world,
To try to show wisdom and courage and prove they are not the ones to cower,
Beware of these beings that are known to haunt the darkest of all graves,
It is far better to stay in your homes and not seek what walks at the midnight hour.
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Rick Powell
5/19/2014
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Feeling festive but don’t have a lot of time? Try these Three Ingredient Pumpkin Cookies for a quick and tasty treat tonight.
Three Ingredient Pumpkin Cookies
1 (15 ounce) can of pumpkin
1 box of spice cake mix
1 cup of milk chocolate chips OR butterscotch chips (Mmmmmm)
Preheat oven to 350°F.
Lightly coat your cookie sheet with non-stick spray.
In a large bowl, mix together the cake mix and pumpkin with a fork or mixer until well blended.
Fold in chocolate or butterscotch chips.
Drop by the spoonful on greased baking sheets.
Bake for 15-18 minutes.
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Okay, now that we’re in the mood…
Sex in a Haunted House!
Mwahaha.
Happy Halloween!
Ashes of Another Life – a horror novella
When Tara Jane Brewer leaves her polygamous community behind after her family dies in a tragic house fire, she is plagued by ghastly images of death. Hunted by a member of the church who plans to bring her home to Sweet Springs at any cost, Tara Jane must fight to keep her freedom. But everywhere she goes, she sees the charred faces of her burned family, watching her, following her, all thirty-four of them, waiting for her to come home and resume her place in the family.
NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON from author Lindsey Goddard:
“Lindsey Goddard has an impressive talent for getting inside the minds of her characters — both innocent and malevolent — which makes her scenes of horror all the more disturbing.”
-Graham Masterton, author of Charnel House
“Lindsey Goddard is a fine writer and if you appreciate such a wordsmith, I want to highly recommend her work. This story is heart wrenching and horrifying all at once. It’s not so much about a cult as it is about being hostage to unyielding ideas. It’s about loss, love, and the cruelty family members do to one another. There is raw pain, deep understanding, and a deft hand telling the story. Watch this writer in the future. She’s got what it takes.”
-Billie Sue Mosiman, author of Edgar-nominated Night Cruise and the new thriller, The Grey Matter
