Category Archives: dirty dozen
Dirty Dozen: Top Twelve New Releases
Fresh new year, same old me. I’m always late to the party. While other, more responsible bloggers have most assuredly checked in with their readers by now, I’m just now straggling through the door to wish you all a Happy New Year! 😂
For my first post of 2023, I’d like to reflect on some newly released horror movies I watched and enjoyed in 2022.
As always, the following list will include 12 items, because that’s how we do it here: by the dirty dozen.
In this deeply disturbing film, Taiwan succumbs to a viral pandemic that transforms peaceful citizens into sadistic maniacs. This gorefest had my jaw hanging open for most of the run time! It’s both hard to watch and impossible not to watch. Truly sick.
HOUSE OF DARKNESS
Justin Long stars in yet another horror movie. Will he survive this time? House of Darkness forces its audience into an awkward silence as the main character attempts to bullshit his way into the pants of a pretty lady with a dark secret and repeatedly fumbles his way further into harm’s way. I honestly don’t know if I would have made it to the end of this one if not for how compelling it is to watch Justin Long talk himself into an absolute corner, trying so desperately for a piece of ass. 😂😂
THE BLACK PHONE
I want to start by saying that Ethan Hawke plays such a convincing villain in this film that my dumbass didn’t even realize it was him until after I’d watched the entire thing! Didn’t question it at all. Now that’s great acting. I loved The Black Phone. The story is tight–no plot holes to speak of. The protagonists (both of them) are relatable and realistic kids you find yourself rooting for over and over again, and frankly, this is a movie that shouldn’t be missed by any horror fan. Really, really good stuff.
Sigh. How did I get here? I never thought I’d be reviewing a movie about a restroom glory hole. But here I am, and it was so good! I’ve been a fan of Ryan Kwanten since season 1 of True Blood back in 2008, and a fan of JK Simmons since even before that when he starred as Vernon Schillingeron on HBO’s Oz. Glorious was surprisingly entertaining. For a film that takes place at a desserted rest stop, this one had me hooked from start to finish.
Antlers came out at the tail end of 2021, and it’s a kick-ass little film I feel was largely overlooked. Plot: A little boy hides a dangerous secret to protect his family, and when his teacher gets involved out of concern for his wellfare, she may be the only one who can save him as his secret grows out of control.
You either love Art the Clown, or you don’t. I eagerly awaited this sequel, and loved it, but the Terrifier films are not for the squeamish viewers among us. Prepare yourself for copious guts, gore, and torture. David Howard Thornton is an instant horror icon without uttering a word of dialogue in this no-holds-barred romp through Hell.
A vampire’s loner lifestyle is thrown into disarray when a teenager shows up claiming to be his daughter, and she’s got the fangs to prove it. A fun flick.
A bit cheesy and sprinkled with cliches throughout, Barbarian was still a wild ride worth watching, and definitely worth mentioning here.
I got to watch Alicia Silverstone fist fight more than one shark, so I was a satisfied viewer. The graphics feel realistic during the storm that sweeps the couple out to sea in the opening scenes, and the suspense builds from there. It’s a campy movie, and an overdone topic, but somehow The Requin is an enthralling ride you’ll want to see through to the end.
This movie was fun because it didn’t need mature content to achieve a good scare. It’s safe to watch with family. I watched it with my 11-year-old son. The story centers on two teens who must stop a terrifying internet meme brought to life by the hysteria of their parents.
MY BEST FRIEND’S EXORCISM
This horror comedy was super cute and funny. It had an 80s vibe and interesting characters. Two thumbs up.
This one was overhyped, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. I had no complaints. Plot: After witnessing a bizarre, traumatic incident involving a patient, Dr. Rose Cotter starts experiencing frightening occurrences that she can’t explain. As an overwhelming terror begins taking over her life, Rose must confront her troubling past in order to survive and escape her horrifying new reality.
The Dirty Dozen: 12 Most Memorable Black Horror Movie Characters
I’ve been busy all summer long and never got a chance to post, but it’s Back To School time for the kiddos, and in honor of that, I’m doing a Back To Scares blogging event!
On today’s agenda: The Dirty Dozen: 12 Most Memorable Black Horror Movie Characters
Horror cinema would benefit from more black characters. We don’t see it enough. The following is my list of the most MEMORABLE black horror movie characters. Not all are lead characters (some had very little screen time but stole the show). This isn’t about Best Acted Roles or even Best Characters. These are the most memorable… because there is just something about the character that makes us connect with them, remember them…
Some of you will argue genre: “Scary Movie is a comedy” and “Seven is a crime thriller.” Look, just sit back and let me entertain you, okay?
There’s an Honorable Mentions section at the bottom. I’ll let you in on a little secret: This is my way of keeping the “Dirty Dozen” theme without actually narrowing it down to 12! So tough! And you know what? There’s actually more in the Honorable Mentions section than on the list! LOL.
So here we go….
Fool – People Under The Stairs
When young Fool (Brandon Adams) breaks into the home of his family’s greedy and uncaring landlords, he discovers a disturbing scenario where incestuous adults have mutilated a number of boys and kept them imprisoned under their stairs.
Peter Washington – Dawn of the Dead
Peter Washington is a member of Philadelphia’s SWAT when the walking dead crisis has reached critical condition. He saves the life of a fellow SWAT member of another squad, and he is offered a ride out of Philly and so joins the party that ends up at the notorious Monroeville Hyper-Mall. And that’s only where the drama begins!
Jeryline – Demon Knight
Demon Knight is a feature-length film presented by the HBO series Tales from the Crypt, and features scenes with the Crypt Keeper, but what really drives the plot forward is the strong and beautiful character Jeryline, played by Jada Pinkett Smith. A must-see, if you haven’t.
Detective Lt. William Somerset – Seven
What more do I need to say? Morgan Freeman is amazing in every role he plays, but the sheer intensity of the plot in Seven kicks his acting up another notch. This is such an engrossing film, and – like I said in my intro – you can argue that Seven is a “crime-thriller” all you want. This movie scared the shit out of me. I say horror!
Lance Shroeder – House on Haunted Hill 1999
A millionaire with theatrical tendencies invites a number of people to stay in a vast creepy building that used to be an insane asylum. Lance Shroeder, played by Taye Diggs, is one of the unfortunate crew to accept this invitation. He’s so darn likeable, guys, you just have to root for him the whole time. Gotta love this character.
Maximillian – Vampire in Brooklyn
Maximillian is the only survivor from a race of vampires on a Caribbean Island, and he must find a mate to keep the bloodline from ending. Horror comedy at its finest. Directed by Wes Craven and starring Eddie Murphy, this is definitely a memorable character.
Sara Tidwell – Bag of Bones
I know a lot of people did not enjoy the film adaptation of Stephen King’s 1998 novel Bag of Bones. It was a two-part miniseries, which appeared on regular TV. Maybe I’m lucky I hadn’t read the book, because I really enjoyed it. Sara Tidwell is a vivacious singer and a lost soul who does not get much screen time, but she stuck in my mind long after the credits rolled. Actress Anika Noni Rose was hauntingly gorgeous in this role.
I love Tony Todd, and you’ll see him twice more in the Honorable Mentions. His portrayal of Candyman is horrifying, with a genuinely creepy voice that invades your mind like the sweetest of poisons. For real. You’ll almost want to call upon the Candyman yourself, though you know it’s a bad idea. There’s something so alluring and so revolting at the same time about this character…. malicious to the core but with such a sad backstory.
Russell Franklin – Deep Blue Sea
On an island research facility, a scientist is harvesting the brain tissue of DNA-altered sharks as a possible cure for Alzheimer’s disease. When the facility’s backers send executive Russell Franklin (Samuel L. Jackson) to investigate the experiments, a routine procedure goes awry and sharks start attacking the researchers. As you can imagine, Russell snaps and screams, “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfuckin’ sharks on this motherfuckin’ island!” Oh wait… nevermind, nevermind. That was a different movie… 🙂
Brenda Meeks – Scary Movie 1, 2, 3, and 4
Brenda Meeks cracks me up. She’s the only character who kept me coming back to the Scary Movie sequels. Watching her fight Samara from The Ring in #3 had me rolling, some of her one-liners in #4 were even funnier, and really… she had me from the start in #1. Brenda Meeks is lively and sweet, and she is anything but “meek” if you light her fuse.
Chris Washington – Get Out
Chris Washington is a young photographer in an interracial relationship, and when it comes time to meet his girlfriend’s family, he is hesitant. He worries that her parents won’t accept him. He’s in love, so he agrees to the trip anyway, and while staying at his girlfriend’s family home, he discovers things are much worse than he feared. The character of Chris played on the heartstrings of audiences worldwide. We really felt for him.
Andre – Dawn of the Dead 2004
From the moment we meet Andre, we understand he has a lot to protect. His girlfriend’s belly is swollen, and he’s nervous to protect the child inside. That’s easier said than done in a post-apocalyptic world full of zombies and untrustworthy humans, but he is determined. There’s one scene in particular that is unforgettable.
The Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Weirdest and Creepiest Horror Movie Dances
“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.” – William W. Purkey
“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
“Do a loony-goony dance
‘Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain’t been there before.” – Shel Silverstein
Dancing. It makes us human. Whether we do it in front of others or bust a move in private when we hear our favorite song, most of us have enjoyed a little dancing. But in horror movies, dancing takes on a whole new element. It’s either absurdly out-of-place, insanely cheesy, eerily seductive, or downright creepy.
I offer you my Top Twelve Weirdest and Creepiest Horror Movie Dances. They are all listed here for different reasons… but all of them possess a certain WTF factor. Like seriously…. WTF?
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter – Total Spaz Dance
Okay, we all know this wasn’t the final chapter. But hopefully it was the final chapter in Crispin Glover’s dancing efforts. What is happening here?!?!?!
Insidious – Tiptoe Through The Tulips
Hey, even the ghosts of creepy little dead boys like to dance. Don’t hate.
Freddy’s Revenge – Jesse Cleans His Room
Jesse just moved into a new house and his parents are nagging him to get his room straightened up. So he vents his frustration in this awesome and very uncomfortable dance! Hahaha.
Dead & Breakfast – Zombie Line Dance
I don’t even… uhhh…. I don’t even know what to say about this one. I’m so confused. Lol.
Carrie – Spinning
I have to mention the dance from the original Carrie because I refuse to believe I’m the only person in the world who can’t watch this scene without getting queasy. I mean… the spinning. The spinning is too much. *gag*
Sleepwalkers – Getting The Job Done
Sticking with Stephen King, here’s a great scene from Sleepwalkers. Man, oh man, I wish I could have this much fun at work.
Night of the Demons – There’s Something Different About Angela
Is it just me, or does this chick make demonic possession look HAWT?
Evil Dead 2 – Dance of the Headless Lover
Poor Ash. The dead just never seem to stay dead for him.
Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse – Groovy Janitor
Sadly, I couldn’t find a high-quality clip of Blake Anderson (from Comedy Central’s Workaholics) dancing his way toward doom in Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. But at least someone out there has uploaded something because, man, it’s so darn funny.
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning – Everyone’s A Critic
Hey, Jason, Violet’s dancing wasn’t that bad. It was actually sorta cute. You didn’t have to KILL her!! Sheesh!
Troll 2 – Holly Gets Down
Troll 2 was released in 1990, which meant the 80s were over. But as you can see from this clip, the 80s were still very much alive. And you have to admit, she’s got some pretty good moves.
Return of the Living Dead – Trash’s Strip Tease
Again, I apologize for the quality. It’s hard to find this video, I guess because of the adult content. But I could never leave out the nude graveyard dance from Return of the Living Dead.
So there you have it. My Top Twelve.
Horror is full of strange and wonderful dancing, so feel free to comment with your favorites. Thanks for reading.
The Dirty Dozen – Top Twelve BLOODY Scenes
I believe Dirty Little Horror is a special blog. We venture where others dare not tread. Yet lately, I’ve been slow to post. I love horror, of course, but sometimes I can’t think of anything to SAY about my beloved genre in order to keep you all amused. 🙂
So I sat down and asked myself, “What are some of my favorite horror movie scenes, and why?” I realized something. I have a fascination with fake blood. That runny red stuff can make or break a scene for me. I’m not just talking gore or clever ways to die. I’m talking about BLOOD, and lots of it. Picture the elevator doors in The Shining – a crimson cascade rushing down the hall. Picture that bucket tipping over on poor Carrie White, covering her from head to toe as she trembles in her homemade prom dress. These scenes are a staple of horror culture.
Here are twelve more. I’ve put these BLOODY scenes in no particular order, but I did save the bloodiest for last. I give to you…
THE DIRTY DOZEN – TOP TWELVE BLOODY SCENES
Movie: Blade (1998)
Scene: Bloodbath at the rave
Movie: The Descent (2005)
Scene: Crimson Pool
Movie: Maniac (1980)
Scene: Head shot
Movie: High Tension (2003)
Scene: Saw through the windshield
Movie: Evil Dead 2 (1987)
Scene: Pulled into the cellar
Movie: Inside (2007)
Scene: Surgery on the staircase
Movie: Piranha (2010)
Scene: Bloody beach party
Movie: Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Scene: Death bed
Movie: Mirrors (2008)
Scene: Jaw rip
Movie: Cabin in the Woods (2011)
Scene: When all the monsters come to play
Movie: Dead Alive (1982)
Scene: Nice mowing you
Movie: Evil Dead (2013)
Scene: Rainin’ blood
As always, thanks SO MUCH for visiting the site. Feel free to comment with YOUR favorite bloody scenes.
DAY TWELVE of The Dirty Dozen, 12 Days of X-mas: Horror Calendar by John J Dick
Wow. We have made it to Day 12 of our holiday celebration. There was so much horror, so much blood and guts, you might wonder what any of this has to do with Christmas. Well, to be honest, very little… but we had fun, didn’t we?
If you would like to continue this creepy fun throughout the days of 2016, please consider picking up a calendar by John J. Dick. I love the idea of a horror calendar, and this one is just plain brutal. Horrible Things 2016 is truly sick, and I mean that as praise.
All purchases can be made through John’s Paypal account. He sure would appreciate it (bless those starving artists). And these models are DYING to be hung on your wall. 🙂
The purchase link is: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=B4AELS5DEXBSG
DAY ELEVEN of The Dirty Dozen, 12 Days of X-mas: Devlish Photography
It’s officially Winter. For some of us, that means snow and cold winds, so while you’re snuggled up at home enjoying a warm blanket, here’s more horror entertainment to make your holiday season a little dark and weird… because that’s how we like it around these parts!
Today, my special guest is Devlish Photography.
If you enjoy their work, please like their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/DevlishPhotography85
Thanks again to Devlish Photography, and if you enjoy their work, please make sure to like their Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/DevlishPhotography85
DAY EIGHT of The Dirty Dozen, 12 Days of X-mas: Gifts for the Hardcore Horror Fan
The hardcore horror junkie can be hard to shop for, so I’ve put together a list, chock full of ideas, sure to please any fans of the macabre. I only wish I had posted it sooner, on Day 1 or 2 of the countdown. But there’s still time to order some of these before X-mas, and all of these items would make great BIRTHDAY gifts as well, just right for the horror fan in your life.
Luna Moon Gothic Jewelry: https://www.etsy.com/shop/lunamoonsvintage
Box Of Dread:
Box of Dread is a really cool subscription that arrives at your doorstep monthly in the form of a package filled with surprise horror swag. I’ve heard good things from people who signed up. Apparently. you get a decent amount of swag (posters, DVDs, action figures, etc) for the cost.
Mogwais and Gizmos!
There are TONS of places online to purchase a mogwai for that special Gremlins lover in your life. Just remember the rules! No bright light, no baths, no munchies after the witching hour. 🙂
Long Gone Dolls.
This shop is amazing. I’ve linked the Facebook and Etsy page, but I should warn you, they go extremely fast. One minute the newest doll is for sale, the next minute it’s long gone. No lie!
Visit on Facebook, or check out the Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/LongGoneDolls
And check this out! Handmade cthulhu statues! I totally need this for my writing desk!
Well, that’s all I’ve got for you today, but the world wide web has SO MANY great gifts for the horror fan, if you’re willing to search. 🙂 See you tomorrow, for Day Nine of our X-mas celebration.
The Dirty Dozen, 12 Days of X-mas – DAY ONE: The Seamstress
Hello kiddos! Welcome to Dirty Little Horror’s holiday celebration:
The Dirty Dozen: 12 Days Of X-mas!!!
It seems someone has MURDERED the 12 drummers drumming, the 11 pipers piping, and the 10 lords a-leaping. The 9 dancing ladies and 8 maids a-milking got it, too, and the horror goes down the line right to the stinking carcass of a dead partridge in a burning pear tree.
But fear not! (Or maybe you should get really, really scared…) We will make our own 12 days of X-mas, perfect for horror fans. Who needs turtle doves and french hens anyway?
To kick off DAY ONE of our nearly two week celebration, we shall start with a short film: The Seamstress. I’ve also posted a schedule for our next eleven days in case anyone is curious what’s in store. Enjoy. And see you tomorrow!
Day One: The Seamstress, a short horror film
Day Two: La Cabina, a movie review by Dene Bebbington
Day Three: Spotlight on Adam Pixel Horrography
Day Four: Still Life, a short horror film
Day Five: Spotlight on Death March Studio
Day Six: Spotlight on Flatline Photography
Day Seven: Long Weekend, a movie review by Dene Bebbington
Day Eight: Great Holiday Gifts for the Hardcore Horror Fan
Day Nine: The Naughty List – X Rated Horror Fiction
Day Ten: The Ten Steps, a short horror film
Day Eleven: Spotlight on Devlish Photography
Day Twelve: Get your horror calendar by John J Dick to ring in the new year!
Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Horror Movies You Might Have Missed
Hey there, stranger! Long time, no blog! My bad. Life sure does get busy sometimes!
I’ve been wanting to share this post for a while but haven’t had time to. Below are my personal picks for the Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Horror Movies You Might Have Missed.
I realize some of you hardcore horror buffs will roll your eyes and say, “I’ve seen ALL of those”, but I’m willing to bet 90% of you will find a couple new titles. And for the casual horror fan, there’s bound to be more than a few. In no particular order:
As the new night nurse at a soon to be abandoned children’s hospital readies the last group of orphans to leave, it becomes increasingly clear that these are not normal children. Something living in the hospital, something the children call the “mechanical girl,” has a terrifying hold over them and will stop at nothing to keep them in the hospital with her forever.
A birthday clown returns from the dead to exact revenge upon a boy and a group of children who contributed to his death. This movie has some very inventive murders, and I highly recommend it to anyone who appreciates gore done well.
Come Back To Me
Based on the novel THE RESURRECTIONIST by Wrath James White, this movie follows main character Sarah who keeps waking up under strange circumstances with no memory of falling asleep. When she finds some of her clothes covered in blood and discovers she is pregnant, though her husband is sterile, she realizes what’s happening to her is more than just night terrors.
This movie went beyond my expectations. Original story, engulfing suspense, quality acting, great effects. Just WATCH IT!
A man’s investigation into his long-dead parents’ demise leads to the haunted family mansion and a date with a demon.
Dude… I could not look away. This movie has a real “WTF” factor. It’s always uncomfortable stepping into the lives of serial murderers, but watching one try to train a young boy to be the same? So demented.
Because you cannot run from yourself…
After being captured for a series of gruesome murders, Horace Pinker faces execution by the electric chair — but a deal with the devil allows him to come back as electricity and exact his revenge.
When a family en route to a Christmas Eve gathering decides to takes a shortcut down a wooded road, an eerie sequence of events signals trouble ahead. After nearly colliding with an oncoming car, father Frank (Ray Wise) picks up a ghostly hitchhiker (Amber Smith) and her infant child. With the sudden appearance of their new passengers, the route becomes dark and treacherous — and the family’s numbers rapidly begin to dwindle in a series of seemingly connected, grisly roadside accidents.
I was going to post a trailer for this movie, but the trailer I watched SPOILED a ton of the very unique murder scenes! Do yourself a favor, if you haven’t seen this one yet, don’t watch the trailer, just watch the movie!
Mum & Dad
A series of murders linked to the tragic deaths of schoolchildren 50 years earlier leads a young woman to unravel the dark mystery of her town.
Okay, that’s it for this list. If you’ve seen all twelve, please leave a comment so I can give you a horror high five!!!