Category Archives: horror movies

Dirty Dozen: Top Twelve New Releases

Fresh new year, same old me. I’m always late to the party. While other, more responsible bloggers have most assuredly checked in with their readers by now, I’m just now straggling through the door to wish you all a Happy New Year! 😂

For my first post of 2023, I’d like to reflect on some newly released horror movies I watched and enjoyed in 2022.

As always, the following list will include 12 items, because that’s how we do it here: by the dirty dozen.

THE SADNESS

In this deeply disturbing film, Taiwan succumbs to a viral pandemic that transforms peaceful citizens into sadistic maniacs. This gorefest had my jaw hanging open for most of the run time! It’s both hard to watch and impossible not to watch.  Truly sick.

HOUSE OF DARKNESS

Justin Long stars in yet another horror movie. Will he survive this time? House of Darkness forces its audience into an awkward silence as the main character attempts to bullshit his way into the pants of a pretty lady with a dark secret and repeatedly fumbles his way further into harm’s way. I honestly don’t know if I would have made it to the end of this one if not for how compelling it is to watch Justin Long talk himself into an absolute corner, trying so desperately for a piece of ass. 😂😂

THE BLACK PHONE

I want to start by saying that Ethan Hawke plays such a convincing villain in this film that my dumbass didn’t even realize it was him until after I’d watched the entire thing! Didn’t question it at all. Now that’s great acting. I loved The Black Phone. The story is tight–no plot holes to speak of. The protagonists (both of them) are relatable and realistic kids you find yourself rooting for over and over again, and frankly, this is a movie that shouldn’t be missed by any horror fan. Really, really good stuff.

GLORIOUS

Sigh. How did I get here? I never thought I’d be reviewing a movie about a restroom glory hole. But here I am, and it was so good! I’ve been a fan of Ryan Kwanten since season 1 of True Blood back in 2008, and a fan of JK Simmons since even before that when he starred as Vernon Schillingeron on HBO’s Oz. Glorious was surprisingly entertaining. For a film that takes place at a desserted rest stop, this one had me hooked from start to finish.

ANTLERS

Antlers came out at the tail end of 2021, and it’s a kick-ass little film I feel was largely overlooked. Plot: A little boy hides a dangerous secret to protect his family, and when his teacher gets involved out of concern for his wellfare, she may be the only one who can save him as his secret grows out of control.

TERRIFIER 2

You either love Art the Clown, or you don’t. I eagerly awaited this sequel, and loved it, but the Terrifier films are not for the squeamish viewers among us. Prepare yourself for copious guts, gore, and torture. David Howard Thornton is an instant horror icon without uttering a word of dialogue in this no-holds-barred romp through Hell.

BLOOD RELATIVES

A vampire’s loner lifestyle is thrown into disarray when a teenager shows up claiming to be his daughter, and she’s got the fangs to prove it. A fun flick.

BARBARIAN

A bit cheesy and sprinkled with cliches throughout, Barbarian was still a wild ride worth watching, and definitely worth mentioning here.

THE REQUIN

I got to watch Alicia Silverstone fist fight more than one shark, so I was a satisfied viewer. The graphics feel realistic during the storm that sweeps the couple out to sea in the opening scenes, and the suspense builds from there. It’s a campy movie, and an overdone topic, but somehow The Requin is an enthralling ride you’ll want to see through to the end.

GRIMCUTTY

This movie was fun because it didn’t need mature content to achieve a good scare. It’s safe to watch with family. I watched it with my 11-year-old son. The story centers on two teens who must stop a terrifying internet meme brought to life by the hysteria of their parents.

MY BEST FRIEND’S EXORCISM

This horror comedy was super cute and funny. It had an 80s vibe and interesting characters. Two thumbs up.

SMILE

This one was overhyped, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. I had no complaints. Plot: After witnessing a bizarre, traumatic incident involving a patient, Dr. Rose Cotter starts experiencing frightening occurrences that she can’t explain. As an overwhelming terror begins taking over her life, Rose must confront her troubling past in order to survive and escape her horrifying new reality.

Horror Humor

The Dirty Dozen: 12 Most Memorable Black Horror Movie Characters

I’ve been busy all summer long and never got a chance to post, but it’s Back To School time for the kiddos, and in honor of that, I’m doing a Back To Scares blogging event!

On today’s agenda: The Dirty Dozen: 12 Most Memorable Black Horror Movie Characters

Horror cinema would benefit from more black characters. We don’t see it enough. The following is my list of the most MEMORABLE black horror movie characters. Not all are lead characters (some had very little screen time but stole the show). This isn’t about Best Acted Roles or even Best Characters. These are the most memorable… because there is just something about the character that makes us connect with them, remember them…

Some of you will argue genre:  “Scary Movie is a comedy” and “Seven is a crime thriller.” Look, just sit back and let me entertain you, okay?

There’s an Honorable Mentions section at the bottom. I’ll let you in on a little secret: This is my way of keeping the “Dirty Dozen” theme without actually narrowing it down to 12! So tough! And you know what? There’s actually more in the Honorable Mentions section than on the list! LOL.

So here we go….

1-Brandon Quintin Adams

Fool – People Under The Stairs

When young Fool (Brandon Adams) breaks into the home of his family’s greedy and uncaring landlords, he discovers a disturbing scenario where incestuous adults have mutilated a number of boys and kept them imprisoned under their stairs.

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Peter Washington – Dawn of the Dead

Peter Washington is a member of Philadelphia’s SWAT when the walking dead crisis has reached critical condition. He saves the life of a fellow SWAT member of another squad, and he is offered a ride out of Philly and so joins the party that ends up at the notorious Monroeville Hyper-Mall. And that’s only where the drama begins!

 

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Jeryline – Demon Knight

Demon Knight is a feature-length film presented by the HBO series Tales from the Crypt, and features scenes with the Crypt Keeper, but what really drives the plot forward is the strong and beautiful character Jeryline, played by Jada Pinkett Smith. A must-see, if you haven’t.

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Detective Lt. William Somerset – Seven

What more do I need to say? Morgan Freeman is amazing in every role he plays, but the sheer intensity of the plot in Seven kicks his acting up another notch. This is such an engrossing film, and – like I said in my intro – you can argue that Seven is a “crime-thriller” all you want. This movie scared the shit out of me. I say horror!

 

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Lance Shroeder – House on Haunted Hill 1999

A millionaire with theatrical tendencies invites a number of people to stay in a vast creepy building that used to be an insane asylum. Lance Shroeder, played by Taye Diggs, is one of the unfortunate crew to accept this invitation. He’s so darn likeable, guys, you just have to root for him the whole time. Gotta love this character.

 

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Maximillian – Vampire in Brooklyn

Maximillian is the only survivor from a race of vampires on a Caribbean Island, and he must find a mate to keep the bloodline from ending. Horror comedy at its finest. Directed by Wes Craven and starring Eddie Murphy, this is definitely a memorable character.

 

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Sara Tidwell – Bag of Bones

I know a lot of people did not enjoy the film adaptation of Stephen King’s 1998 novel Bag of Bones. It was a two-part miniseries, which appeared on regular TV.  Maybe I’m lucky I hadn’t read the book, because I really enjoyed it. Sara Tidwell is a vivacious singer and a lost soul who does not get much screen time, but she stuck in my mind long after the credits rolled. Actress Anika Noni Rose was hauntingly gorgeous in this role.

 

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Candyman

I love Tony Todd, and you’ll see him twice more in the Honorable Mentions. His portrayal of Candyman is horrifying, with a genuinely creepy voice that invades your mind like the sweetest of poisons. For real. You’ll almost want to call upon the Candyman yourself, though you know it’s a bad idea. There’s something so alluring and so revolting at the same time about this character…. malicious to the core but with such a sad backstory.

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Russell Franklin – Deep Blue Sea

On an island research facility, a scientist is harvesting the brain tissue of DNA-altered sharks as a possible cure for Alzheimer’s disease. When the facility’s backers send executive Russell Franklin (Samuel L. Jackson) to investigate the experiments, a routine procedure goes awry and sharks start attacking the researchers. As you can imagine, Russell snaps and screams, “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfuckin’ sharks on this motherfuckin’ island!” Oh wait… nevermind, nevermind. That was a different movie… 🙂 snakes

 

 

 

 

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Brenda Meeks – Scary Movie 1, 2, 3, and 4

Brenda Meeks cracks me up. She’s the only character who kept me coming back to the Scary Movie sequels. Watching her fight Samara from The Ring in #3 had me rolling, some of her one-liners in #4 were even funnier, and really… she had me from the start in #1. Brenda Meeks is lively and sweet, and she is anything but “meek” if you light her fuse.

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Chris Washington – Get Out

Chris Washington is a young photographer in an interracial relationship, and when it comes time to meet his girlfriend’s family, he is hesitant. He worries that her parents won’t accept him. He’s in love, so he agrees to the trip anyway, and while staying at his girlfriend’s family home, he discovers things are much worse than he feared. The character of Chris played on the heartstrings of audiences worldwide. We really felt for him.

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Andre – Dawn of the Dead 2004

From the moment we meet Andre, we understand he has a lot to protect. His girlfriend’s belly is swollen, and he’s nervous to protect the child inside. That’s easier said than done in a post-apocalyptic world full of zombies and untrustworthy humans, but he is determined. There’s one scene in particular that is unforgettable.

 

Honorable Mentions:

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The Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Weirdest and Creepiest Horror Movie Dances

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.” – William W. Purkey

“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

“Do a loony-goony dance
‘Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain’t been there before.” – Shel Silverstein

Dancing. It makes us human. Whether we do it in front of others or bust a move in private when we hear our favorite song, most of us have enjoyed a little dancing. But in horror movies, dancing takes on a whole new element. It’s either absurdly out-of-place, insanely cheesy, eerily seductive, or downright creepy.

I offer you my Top Twelve Weirdest and Creepiest Horror Movie Dances. They are all listed here for different reasons… but all of them possess a certain WTF factor. Like seriously…. WTF?

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter – Total Spaz Dance

Okay, we all know this wasn’t the final chapter. But hopefully it was the final chapter in Crispin Glover’s dancing efforts. What is happening here?!?!?!

Insidious – Tiptoe Through The Tulips

Hey, even the ghosts of creepy little dead boys like to dance. Don’t hate.

Freddy’s Revenge – Jesse Cleans His Room

Jesse just moved into a new house and his parents are nagging him to get his room straightened up. So he vents his frustration in this awesome and very uncomfortable dance! Hahaha.

Dead & Breakfast – Zombie Line Dance

I don’t even… uhhh…. I don’t even know what to say about this one. I’m so confused. Lol.

Carrie – Spinning

I have to mention the dance from the original Carrie because I refuse to believe I’m the only person in the world who can’t watch this scene without getting queasy. I mean… the spinning. The spinning is too much. *gag*

Sleepwalkers – Getting The Job Done

Sticking with Stephen King, here’s a great scene from Sleepwalkers. Man, oh man, I wish I could have this much fun at work.

Night of the Demons – There’s Something Different About Angela

Is it just me, or does this chick make demonic possession look HAWT?

Evil Dead 2 – Dance of the Headless Lover

Poor Ash. The dead just never seem to stay dead for him.

Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse – Groovy Janitor

Sadly, I couldn’t find a high-quality clip of Blake Anderson (from Comedy Central’s Workaholics) dancing his way toward doom in Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. But at least someone out there has uploaded something because, man, it’s so darn funny.

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning – Everyone’s A Critic

Hey, Jason, Violet’s dancing wasn’t that bad. It was actually sorta cute. You didn’t have to KILL her!! Sheesh!

Troll 2 – Holly Gets Down

Troll 2 was released in 1990, which meant the 80s were over. But as you can see from this clip, the 80s were still very much alive. And you have to admit, she’s got some pretty good moves.

Return of the Living Dead – Trash’s Strip Tease

Again, I apologize for the quality. It’s hard to find this video, I guess because of the adult content. But I could never leave out the nude graveyard dance from Return of the Living Dead.

So there you have it. My Top Twelve.

Horror is full of strange and wonderful dancing, so feel free to comment with your favorites. Thanks for reading.

The Dirty Dozen – Top Twelve BLOODY Scenes

I believe Dirty Little Horror is a special blog. We venture where others dare not tread. Yet lately, I’ve been slow to post. I love horror, of course, but sometimes I can’t think of anything to SAY about my beloved genre in order to keep you all amused. 🙂

So I sat down and asked myself, “What are some of my favorite horror movie scenes, and why?” I realized something. I have a fascination with fake blood. That runny red stuff can make or break a scene for me. I’m not just talking gore or clever ways to die. I’m talking about BLOOD, and lots of it. Picture the elevator doors in The Shining – a crimson cascade rushing down the hall. Picture that bucket tipping over on poor Carrie White, covering her from head to toe as she trembles in her homemade prom dress. These scenes are a staple of horror culture.

Here are twelve more. I’ve put these BLOODY scenes in no particular order, but I did save the bloodiest for last. I give to you…

THE DIRTY DOZEN – TOP TWELVE BLOODY SCENES

Movie: Blade (1998)

Scene: Bloodbath at the rave

Movie: The Descent (2005)

Scene: Crimson Pool

Movie: Maniac (1980)

Scene: Head shot

Movie: High Tension (2003)

Scene: Saw through the windshield

Movie: Evil Dead 2 (1987)

Scene: Pulled into the cellar

Movie: Inside (2007)

Scene: Surgery on the staircase

Movie: Piranha (2010)

Scene: Bloody beach party

Movie: Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Scene: Death bed

Movie: Mirrors (2008)

Scene: Jaw rip

Movie: Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Scene: When all the monsters come to play

Movie: Dead Alive (1982)

Scene: Nice mowing you

Movie: Evil Dead (2013)

Scene: Rainin’ blood

As always, thanks SO MUCH for visiting the site. Feel free to comment with YOUR favorite bloody scenes.

Unsettling Short Film- Human Form

Wow. This Korean short film is disturbing on a whole different level than my usual American fare. Spooky and powerful, I had to think about the ending, but it really spooked me once I *got it*, you know? Do you get it? Give it a go. 🙂

Description: Feeling isolated in a world where everyone wears the same surgically-altered appearance, a young girl takes extreme measures to change her own.

 

 

The Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Horror Comedies You Might Have Missed

Charlie Chaplin once said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” I don’t know about that, but I know laughter is one of my favorite things in the world. Life can be grueling. Humans need comedy. For my next countdown, here are 12 movies that will keep you laughing AND sate your hunger for horror. Most of us have seen Army Of Darkness, Tucker & Dale Vs Evil, and Dead Alive, but here are a dozen you might have missed.

1

COTTAGE COUNTRY (2013)

When a man accidentally kills his brother with an ax, his fiancé is determined not to let even murder stand in the way of their happiness.

*

2

THE PERFECT HOST (2010)

A criminal on the run cons his way into the wrong dinner party where the host is anything but ordinary.

*

3

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (2014)

Undead housemates try to cope with the complexities of the modern world while showing a newly turned hipster some of the perks of being a vampire.

*

4

THE VOICES (2014)

A likable guy pursues his office crush with the help of his evil talking pets, but things turn sinister when she stands him up for a date.

*

5

ZOMBIE STRIPPERS (2008)

A zombie epidemic spreads throughout a strip club in Nebraska.

*

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LET’S KILL WARD’S WIFE (2014)

Ward’s wife is a bitch and everyone in his life wants her dead, Ward most of all. But when his friends’ murderous fantasies turn into an (accidental) reality, they have to deal with a whole new set of problems.

*

7

BUBBA HO-TEP (2002)

Elvis and JFK, both alive and in nursing homes, fight for the souls of their fellow residents as they battle an ancient Egyptian Mummy. Starring Bruce Campbell and based off a short story by Joe Lansdale.

*

8

KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM (2013)

Live-action role players conjure up a demon from Hell by mistake and they must deal with the consequences. Starring Ryan Kwanten (who played Jason Stackhouse in True Blood).

*

9

MURDER PARTY (2007)

A random invitation to a Halloween party leads a man into the hands of a rogue collective intent on murdering him for the sake of their art, sparking a bloodbath of mishap, mayhem and hilarity.

*

10

DEAD BEFORE DAWN (2012)

A group of college kids accidentally create, and then unleash, a curse that makes anyone they come into contact with kill themselves and then turn into zombie demons.

*

11

MONSTER MAN (2003)

Two guys and a female hitchhiker are terrorized by a monstrous looking man driving a giant monster truck.

*

12

BLACK SHEEP (2006)

An experiment in genetic engineering turns harmless sheep into blood-thirsty killers that terrorize a sprawling New Zealand farm.

***

So there you have it. Twelve movies people never seem to recognize when I mention them but are truly horror comedy gold. Feel free to comment with more titles!

DAY TEN of The Dirty Dozen, 12 Days of X-mas: The Ten Steps

Welcome back! It’s day ten of our 12 days of X-mas celebration.

The “ten lords a-leaping” ran away when they saw this next film, but I’m sure you can handle it, horror fans. Please, enjoy.

The Ten Steps.

 

 

The Dirty Dozen, 12 Days of X-mas – DAY ONE: The Seamstress

Hello kiddos! Welcome to Dirty Little Horror’s holiday celebration:

The Dirty Dozen: 12 Days Of X-mas!!!

It seems someone has MURDERED the 12 drummers drumming, the 11 pipers piping, and the 10 lords a-leaping. The 9 dancing ladies and 8 maids a-milking got it, too, and the horror goes down the line right to the stinking carcass of a dead partridge in a burning pear tree.

But fear not! (Or maybe you should get really, really scared…) We will make our own 12 days of X-mas, perfect for horror fans. Who needs turtle doves and french hens anyway?

let's get started

To kick off DAY ONE of our nearly two week celebration, we shall start with a short film: The Seamstress. I’ve also posted a schedule for our next eleven days in case anyone is curious what’s in store. Enjoy. And see you tomorrow!

 

 

Schedule:

Day One: The Seamstress, a short horror film

Day Two: La Cabina, a movie review by Dene Bebbington

Day Three: Spotlight on Adam Pixel Horrography

Day Four: Still Life, a short horror film

Day Five: Spotlight on Death March Studio

Day Six: Spotlight on Flatline Photography

Day Seven: Long Weekend, a movie review by Dene Bebbington

Day Eight: Great Holiday Gifts for the Hardcore Horror Fan

Day Nine: The Naughty List – X Rated Horror Fiction

Day Ten: The Ten Steps, a short horror film

Day Eleven: Spotlight on Devlish Photography

Day Twelve: Get your horror calendar by John J Dick to ring in the new year!

 

Super scary short film, “I Heard It Too”

One thing I love about the horror community (or maybe any community of artists such as writers, filmmakers, and visual artists) is the mutual support of each other’s work I often witness on social media. A simple share, retweet, repost, pin, FWD, or tag might introduce a new fan to a new artist, and for me… that’s what the Internet is all about, man!

So anyway, tonight I’m posting a short horror film I hadn’t seen yet. I thought some of you might have missed this one, too. Many thanks to Dane John Cobain of the Forsaken Horror Hooligans group for sharing it. (And if you haven’t heard of the hooligans, get ready. We’re coming!)

This 8 minute movie was written by Matt Sears. It was produced and directed by Matt Sears and Tim Knight, and it was based on the two sentence horror story: A girl heard her mom yell her name from downstairs, so she got up and started to head down. As she got to the stairs, her mom pulled her into her room and said “I heard that, too.”

Enjoy.

Don’t. Look. Away.

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