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The Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Weirdest and Creepiest Horror Movie Dances
“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.” – William W. Purkey
“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
“Do a loony-goony dance
‘Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain’t been there before.” – Shel Silverstein
Dancing. It makes us human. Whether we do it in front of others or bust a move in private when we hear our favorite song, most of us have enjoyed a little dancing. But in horror movies, dancing takes on a whole new element. It’s either absurdly out-of-place, insanely cheesy, eerily seductive, or downright creepy.
I offer you my Top Twelve Weirdest and Creepiest Horror Movie Dances. They are all listed here for different reasons… but all of them possess a certain WTF factor. Like seriously…. WTF?
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter – Total Spaz Dance
Okay, we all know this wasn’t the final chapter. But hopefully it was the final chapter in Crispin Glover’s dancing efforts. What is happening here?!?!?!
Insidious – Tiptoe Through The Tulips
Hey, even the ghosts of creepy little dead boys like to dance. Don’t hate.
Freddy’s Revenge – Jesse Cleans His Room
Jesse just moved into a new house and his parents are nagging him to get his room straightened up. So he vents his frustration in this awesome and very uncomfortable dance! Hahaha.
Dead & Breakfast – Zombie Line Dance
I don’t even… uhhh…. I don’t even know what to say about this one. I’m so confused. Lol.
Carrie – Spinning
I have to mention the dance from the original Carrie because I refuse to believe I’m the only person in the world who can’t watch this scene without getting queasy. I mean… the spinning. The spinning is too much. *gag*
Sleepwalkers – Getting The Job Done
Sticking with Stephen King, here’s a great scene from Sleepwalkers. Man, oh man, I wish I could have this much fun at work.
Night of the Demons – There’s Something Different About Angela
Is it just me, or does this chick make demonic possession look HAWT?
Evil Dead 2 – Dance of the Headless Lover
Poor Ash. The dead just never seem to stay dead for him.
Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse – Groovy Janitor
Sadly, I couldn’t find a high-quality clip of Blake Anderson (from Comedy Central’s Workaholics) dancing his way toward doom in Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. But at least someone out there has uploaded something because, man, it’s so darn funny.
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning – Everyone’s A Critic
Hey, Jason, Violet’s dancing wasn’t that bad. It was actually sorta cute. You didn’t have to KILL her!! Sheesh!
Troll 2 – Holly Gets Down
Troll 2 was released in 1990, which meant the 80s were over. But as you can see from this clip, the 80s were still very much alive. And you have to admit, she’s got some pretty good moves.
Return of the Living Dead – Trash’s Strip Tease
Again, I apologize for the quality. It’s hard to find this video, I guess because of the adult content. But I could never leave out the nude graveyard dance from Return of the Living Dead.
So there you have it. My Top Twelve.
Horror is full of strange and wonderful dancing, so feel free to comment with your favorites. Thanks for reading.
The Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Horror Comedies You Might Have Missed
Charlie Chaplin once said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” I don’t know about that, but I know laughter is one of my favorite things in the world. Life can be grueling. Humans need comedy. For my next countdown, here are 12 movies that will keep you laughing AND sate your hunger for horror. Most of us have seen Army Of Darkness, Tucker & Dale Vs Evil, and Dead Alive, but here are a dozen you might have missed.
COTTAGE COUNTRY (2013)
When a man accidentally kills his brother with an ax, his fiancé is determined not to let even murder stand in the way of their happiness.
*
THE PERFECT HOST (2010)
A criminal on the run cons his way into the wrong dinner party where the host is anything but ordinary.
*
WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (2014)
Undead housemates try to cope with the complexities of the modern world while showing a newly turned hipster some of the perks of being a vampire.
*
THE VOICES (2014)
A likable guy pursues his office crush with the help of his evil talking pets, but things turn sinister when she stands him up for a date.
*
ZOMBIE STRIPPERS (2008)
A zombie epidemic spreads throughout a strip club in Nebraska.
*
LET’S KILL WARD’S WIFE (2014)
Ward’s wife is a bitch and everyone in his life wants her dead, Ward most of all. But when his friends’ murderous fantasies turn into an (accidental) reality, they have to deal with a whole new set of problems.
*
BUBBA HO-TEP (2002)
Elvis and JFK, both alive and in nursing homes, fight for the souls of their fellow residents as they battle an ancient Egyptian Mummy. Starring Bruce Campbell and based off a short story by Joe Lansdale.
*
KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM (2013)
Live-action role players conjure up a demon from Hell by mistake and they must deal with the consequences. Starring Ryan Kwanten (who played Jason Stackhouse in True Blood).
*
MURDER PARTY (2007)
A random invitation to a Halloween party leads a man into the hands of a rogue collective intent on murdering him for the sake of their art, sparking a bloodbath of mishap, mayhem and hilarity.
*
DEAD BEFORE DAWN (2012)
A group of college kids accidentally create, and then unleash, a curse that makes anyone they come into contact with kill themselves and then turn into zombie demons.
*
MONSTER MAN (2003)
Two guys and a female hitchhiker are terrorized by a monstrous looking man driving a giant monster truck.
*
BLACK SHEEP (2006)
An experiment in genetic engineering turns harmless sheep into blood-thirsty killers that terrorize a sprawling New Zealand farm.
***
So there you have it. Twelve movies people never seem to recognize when I mention them but are truly horror comedy gold. Feel free to comment with more titles!
Attack of the Brainsucker!!
ATTACK OF THE BRAINSUCKER
Wow. I really, really loved this short film. It was highly entertaining with a somber message. I’m being serious here: You’re missing out if you don’t take 14 minutes of your day to watch it!
Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Horror Movies You Might Have Missed
Hey there, stranger! Long time, no blog! My bad. 
Life sure does get busy sometimes!
I’ve been wanting to share this post for a while but haven’t had time to. Below are my personal picks for the Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Horror Movies You Might Have Missed.
I realize some of you hardcore horror buffs will roll your eyes and say, “I’ve seen ALL of those”, but I’m willing to bet 90% of you will find a couple new titles. And for the casual horror fan, there’s bound to be more than a few. In no particular order:
Fragile
As the new night nurse at a soon to be abandoned children’s hospital readies the last group of orphans to leave, it becomes increasingly clear that these are not normal children. Something living in the hospital, something the children call the “mechanical girl,” has a terrifying hold over them and will stop at nothing to keep them in the hospital with her forever.
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0422272/?ref_=ttmd_md_nm
Stitches
A birthday clown returns from the dead to exact revenge upon a boy and a group of children who contributed to his death. This movie has some very inventive murders, and I highly recommend it to anyone who appreciates gore done well.
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2126362
Come Back To Me
Based on the novel THE RESURRECTIONIST by Wrath James White, this movie follows main character Sarah who keeps waking up under strange circumstances with no memory of falling asleep. When she finds some of her clothes covered in blood and discovers she is pregnant, though her husband is sterile, she realizes what’s happening to her is more than just night terrors.
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2551396
Splinter
This movie went beyond my expectations. Original story, engulfing suspense, quality acting, great effects. Just WATCH IT!
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1031280
Demon Wind
A man’s investigation into his long-dead parents’ demise leads to the haunted family mansion and a date with a demon.
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099401
Chained
Dude… I could not look away. This movie has a real “WTF” factor. It’s always uncomfortable stepping into the lives of serial murderers, but watching one try to train a young boy to be the same? So demented.
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1989475
From Within
Because you cannot run from yourself…
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1063056
Shocker
After being captured for a series of gruesome murders, Horace Pinker faces execution by the electric chair — but a deal with the devil allows him to come back as electricity and exact his revenge.
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098320
Dead End
When a family en route to a Christmas Eve gathering decides to takes a shortcut down a wooded road, an eerie sequence of events signals trouble ahead. After nearly colliding with an oncoming car, father Frank (Ray Wise) picks up a ghostly hitchhiker (Amber Smith) and her infant child. With the sudden appearance of their new passengers, the route becomes dark and treacherous — and the family’s numbers rapidly begin to dwindle in a series of seemingly connected, grisly roadside accidents.
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0308152
2001 Maniacs
I was going to post a trailer for this movie, but the trailer I watched SPOILED a ton of the very unique murder scenes! Do yourself a favor, if you haven’t seen this one yet, don’t watch the trailer, just watch the movie!
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0264323
Mum & Dad
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1129428
Fingerprints
A series of murders linked to the tragic deaths of schoolchildren 50 years earlier leads a young woman to unravel the dark mystery of her town.
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790662
***
Okay, that’s it for this list. If you’ve seen all twelve, please leave a comment so I can give you a horror high five!!!
Super scary short film, “I Heard It Too”
One thing I love about the horror community (or maybe any community of artists such as writers, filmmakers, and visual artists) is the mutual support of each other’s work I often witness on social media. A simple share, retweet, repost, pin, FWD, or tag might introduce a new fan to a new artist, and for me… that’s what the Internet is all about, man!
So anyway, tonight I’m posting a short horror film I hadn’t seen yet. I thought some of you might have missed this one, too. Many thanks to Dane John Cobain of the Forsaken Horror Hooligans group for sharing it. (And if you haven’t heard of the hooligans, get ready. We’re coming!)
This 8 minute movie was written by Matt Sears. It was produced and directed by Matt Sears and Tim Knight, and it was based on the two sentence horror story: A girl heard her mom yell her name from downstairs, so she got up and started to head down. As she got to the stairs, her mom pulled her into her room and said “I heard that, too.”
Enjoy.
Don’t. Look. Away.
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