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Movie Review – Insidious: The Red Door

I’m a huge fan of the Insidious series. It’s unfortunate that these films get lumped in with The Conjuring, simply because James Wan directed the first two installments, and Patrick Wilson played a role in both franchises. The similarities end there, if you ask me. The Conjuring uses dry, recycled religious themes, and under the ambiguity of claiming “Based on A True Story”, it glorifies two people who were likely either scam artists or delusional. Insidious, however, creates a universe all its own, executes jump scares at unexpected moments, and possesses a continuity of characters and plot that is a rare treasure among horror movie sequels. That being said, on to my review of Insidious: The Red Door.

Though I tried to resist it, I got the feels right away at the onset of this film. I was presented with a family I had followed for two films prior to The Red Door (Insidious 1 and 2), who had children the same ages as mine. I recognized them and their story, and I was immediately invested.

The plot gets laid out pretty quickly, but doesn’t come across as forced. Josh Lambert (father) and Dalton Lambert (son) were hypnotized nine years ago — something they both wanted and volunteered to undergo — after the traumatic events of Insidious 1 & 2. Josh and Dalton are astral projectors (people who are able to travel to other places in their sleep, an out-of-body experience they remember upon waking). While innocently traveling in his dreams, ten year old Dalton ended up in The Further, a shadowy realm where demonic presences latch onto humans and use them to enter our world. (You don’t want to end up in The Further. You never know what might be lurking in the swirling fog or the distant blackness. It could be a dead-eyed woman with a giant smile. Or a mangled body crawling toward you at lightning speed.)

Josh is able to save Dalton from The Further in the first film, but ends up trapped there himself in the second. Needless to say, these two come out worse for the wear and decide to erase their memory of the whole thing using good old-fashioned hypnosis, which always works in horror movies. (That’s okay… No movie is without its tropes!)

Patrick Wilson directing this new installment was a fantastic idea. His understanding and appreciation of the Insidious universe comes to life. The 1 hour and 47 minute run time is full of creepy visuals that keep things rolling, some that made even my horror-desensitized brain feel a little on edge. I enjoyed seeing familiar specters from the previous films alongside brand new ones. And I felt that I cared about the characters. Well, mostly… 

When they introduced Dalton’s new friend, Chris, I thought she might be a refreshing addition. Unfortunately, her character felt, to me, like a failed attempt at filling the shoes of recurring characters, Specs and Tucker, who bring comic relief to the Insidious movies with their nonchalant geek squad vibe. Chris didn’t take things seriously, often distracting me from the suspense of a scene. She didn’t make me giggle like Specs and Tucker do. But I’ll forgive her… because Dalton needed a friend quirky enough to believe him. Who else but a free-spirited art student would believe that, while sleeping, Dalton had entered a dark and dangerous world in his dreams, unable to remember his childhood trauma of being captured by the demon who lives there, and led that demon back into his life?

I kinda missed the Spectral Sightings crew — Spec and Tucker, and of course, Elise Rainier, played by the incomparable Lin Shaye. But they weren’t necessary here. The story in The Red Door lies with the Lambert Family. 

There are parallels between this family and my own — their three children so close in ages to mine, their love for one another, their troubles — so perhaps I can easily relate. In Insidious: The Red Door, the Lamberts have gone to Hell and back. Their dark past has shaken them to their core, and ultimately divided them. They must pull together, and come through for each other once more. But even if the Lamberts survive The Further again, they can never be sure their nightmare is truly over.

This movie gets 5 out of 5 stars. I loved it. I paid $5.99 to rent it on Google. No regrets. I plan to buy the DVD next to complete our Insidious collection. I recommend watching the other four first if you haven’t! Thanks for reading! Keep it spooky out there!

Dirty Dozen: Top Twelve New Releases

Fresh new year, same old me. I’m always late to the party. While other, more responsible bloggers have most assuredly checked in with their readers by now, I’m just now straggling through the door to wish you all a Happy New Year! 😂

For my first post of 2023, I’d like to reflect on some newly released horror movies I watched and enjoyed in 2022.

As always, the following list will include 12 items, because that’s how we do it here: by the dirty dozen.

THE SADNESS

In this deeply disturbing film, Taiwan succumbs to a viral pandemic that transforms peaceful citizens into sadistic maniacs. This gorefest had my jaw hanging open for most of the run time! It’s both hard to watch and impossible not to watch.  Truly sick.

HOUSE OF DARKNESS

Justin Long stars in yet another horror movie. Will he survive this time? House of Darkness forces its audience into an awkward silence as the main character attempts to bullshit his way into the pants of a pretty lady with a dark secret and repeatedly fumbles his way further into harm’s way. I honestly don’t know if I would have made it to the end of this one if not for how compelling it is to watch Justin Long talk himself into an absolute corner, trying so desperately for a piece of ass. 😂😂

THE BLACK PHONE

I want to start by saying that Ethan Hawke plays such a convincing villain in this film that my dumbass didn’t even realize it was him until after I’d watched the entire thing! Didn’t question it at all. Now that’s great acting. I loved The Black Phone. The story is tight–no plot holes to speak of. The protagonists (both of them) are relatable and realistic kids you find yourself rooting for over and over again, and frankly, this is a movie that shouldn’t be missed by any horror fan. Really, really good stuff.

GLORIOUS

Sigh. How did I get here? I never thought I’d be reviewing a movie about a restroom glory hole. But here I am, and it was so good! I’ve been a fan of Ryan Kwanten since season 1 of True Blood back in 2008, and a fan of JK Simmons since even before that when he starred as Vernon Schillingeron on HBO’s Oz. Glorious was surprisingly entertaining. For a film that takes place at a desserted rest stop, this one had me hooked from start to finish.

ANTLERS

Antlers came out at the tail end of 2021, and it’s a kick-ass little film I feel was largely overlooked. Plot: A little boy hides a dangerous secret to protect his family, and when his teacher gets involved out of concern for his wellfare, she may be the only one who can save him as his secret grows out of control.

TERRIFIER 2

You either love Art the Clown, or you don’t. I eagerly awaited this sequel, and loved it, but the Terrifier films are not for the squeamish viewers among us. Prepare yourself for copious guts, gore, and torture. David Howard Thornton is an instant horror icon without uttering a word of dialogue in this no-holds-barred romp through Hell.

BLOOD RELATIVES

A vampire’s loner lifestyle is thrown into disarray when a teenager shows up claiming to be his daughter, and she’s got the fangs to prove it. A fun flick.

BARBARIAN

A bit cheesy and sprinkled with cliches throughout, Barbarian was still a wild ride worth watching, and definitely worth mentioning here.

THE REQUIN

I got to watch Alicia Silverstone fist fight more than one shark, so I was a satisfied viewer. The graphics feel realistic during the storm that sweeps the couple out to sea in the opening scenes, and the suspense builds from there. It’s a campy movie, and an overdone topic, but somehow The Requin is an enthralling ride you’ll want to see through to the end.

GRIMCUTTY

This movie was fun because it didn’t need mature content to achieve a good scare. It’s safe to watch with family. I watched it with my 11-year-old son. The story centers on two teens who must stop a terrifying internet meme brought to life by the hysteria of their parents.

MY BEST FRIEND’S EXORCISM

This horror comedy was super cute and funny. It had an 80s vibe and interesting characters. Two thumbs up.

SMILE

This one was overhyped, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. I had no complaints. Plot: After witnessing a bizarre, traumatic incident involving a patient, Dr. Rose Cotter starts experiencing frightening occurrences that she can’t explain. As an overwhelming terror begins taking over her life, Rose must confront her troubling past in order to survive and escape her horrifying new reality.

The Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Weirdest and Creepiest Horror Movie Dances

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.” – William W. Purkey

“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

“Do a loony-goony dance
‘Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain’t been there before.” – Shel Silverstein

Dancing. It makes us human. Whether we do it in front of others or bust a move in private when we hear our favorite song, most of us have enjoyed a little dancing. But in horror movies, dancing takes on a whole new element. It’s either absurdly out-of-place, insanely cheesy, eerily seductive, or downright creepy.

I offer you my Top Twelve Weirdest and Creepiest Horror Movie Dances. They are all listed here for different reasons… but all of them possess a certain WTF factor. Like seriously…. WTF?

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter – Total Spaz Dance

Okay, we all know this wasn’t the final chapter. But hopefully it was the final chapter in Crispin Glover’s dancing efforts. What is happening here?!?!?!

Insidious – Tiptoe Through The Tulips

Hey, even the ghosts of creepy little dead boys like to dance. Don’t hate.

Freddy’s Revenge – Jesse Cleans His Room

Jesse just moved into a new house and his parents are nagging him to get his room straightened up. So he vents his frustration in this awesome and very uncomfortable dance! Hahaha.

Dead & Breakfast – Zombie Line Dance

I don’t even… uhhh…. I don’t even know what to say about this one. I’m so confused. Lol.

Carrie – Spinning

I have to mention the dance from the original Carrie because I refuse to believe I’m the only person in the world who can’t watch this scene without getting queasy. I mean… the spinning. The spinning is too much. *gag*

Sleepwalkers – Getting The Job Done

Sticking with Stephen King, here’s a great scene from Sleepwalkers. Man, oh man, I wish I could have this much fun at work.

Night of the Demons – There’s Something Different About Angela

Is it just me, or does this chick make demonic possession look HAWT?

Evil Dead 2 – Dance of the Headless Lover

Poor Ash. The dead just never seem to stay dead for him.

Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse – Groovy Janitor

Sadly, I couldn’t find a high-quality clip of Blake Anderson (from Comedy Central’s Workaholics) dancing his way toward doom in Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. But at least someone out there has uploaded something because, man, it’s so darn funny.

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning – Everyone’s A Critic

Hey, Jason, Violet’s dancing wasn’t that bad. It was actually sorta cute. You didn’t have to KILL her!! Sheesh!

Troll 2 – Holly Gets Down

Troll 2 was released in 1990, which meant the 80s were over. But as you can see from this clip, the 80s were still very much alive. And you have to admit, she’s got some pretty good moves.

Return of the Living Dead – Trash’s Strip Tease

Again, I apologize for the quality. It’s hard to find this video, I guess because of the adult content. But I could never leave out the nude graveyard dance from Return of the Living Dead.

So there you have it. My Top Twelve.

Horror is full of strange and wonderful dancing, so feel free to comment with your favorites. Thanks for reading.

Unsettling Short Film- Human Form

Wow. This Korean short film is disturbing on a whole different level than my usual American fare. Spooky and powerful, I had to think about the ending, but it really spooked me once I *got it*, you know? Do you get it? Give it a go. 🙂

Description: Feeling isolated in a world where everyone wears the same surgically-altered appearance, a young girl takes extreme measures to change her own.

 

 

The Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Horror Comedies You Might Have Missed

Charlie Chaplin once said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” I don’t know about that, but I know laughter is one of my favorite things in the world. Life can be grueling. Humans need comedy. For my next countdown, here are 12 movies that will keep you laughing AND sate your hunger for horror. Most of us have seen Army Of Darkness, Tucker & Dale Vs Evil, and Dead Alive, but here are a dozen you might have missed.

1

COTTAGE COUNTRY (2013)

When a man accidentally kills his brother with an ax, his fiancé is determined not to let even murder stand in the way of their happiness.

*

2

THE PERFECT HOST (2010)

A criminal on the run cons his way into the wrong dinner party where the host is anything but ordinary.

*

3

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (2014)

Undead housemates try to cope with the complexities of the modern world while showing a newly turned hipster some of the perks of being a vampire.

*

4

THE VOICES (2014)

A likable guy pursues his office crush with the help of his evil talking pets, but things turn sinister when she stands him up for a date.

*

5

ZOMBIE STRIPPERS (2008)

A zombie epidemic spreads throughout a strip club in Nebraska.

*

6.jpg

LET’S KILL WARD’S WIFE (2014)

Ward’s wife is a bitch and everyone in his life wants her dead, Ward most of all. But when his friends’ murderous fantasies turn into an (accidental) reality, they have to deal with a whole new set of problems.

*

7

BUBBA HO-TEP (2002)

Elvis and JFK, both alive and in nursing homes, fight for the souls of their fellow residents as they battle an ancient Egyptian Mummy. Starring Bruce Campbell and based off a short story by Joe Lansdale.

*

8

KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM (2013)

Live-action role players conjure up a demon from Hell by mistake and they must deal with the consequences. Starring Ryan Kwanten (who played Jason Stackhouse in True Blood).

*

9

MURDER PARTY (2007)

A random invitation to a Halloween party leads a man into the hands of a rogue collective intent on murdering him for the sake of their art, sparking a bloodbath of mishap, mayhem and hilarity.

*

10

DEAD BEFORE DAWN (2012)

A group of college kids accidentally create, and then unleash, a curse that makes anyone they come into contact with kill themselves and then turn into zombie demons.

*

11

MONSTER MAN (2003)

Two guys and a female hitchhiker are terrorized by a monstrous looking man driving a giant monster truck.

*

12

BLACK SHEEP (2006)

An experiment in genetic engineering turns harmless sheep into blood-thirsty killers that terrorize a sprawling New Zealand farm.

***

So there you have it. Twelve movies people never seem to recognize when I mention them but are truly horror comedy gold. Feel free to comment with more titles!

DAY TEN of The Dirty Dozen, 12 Days of X-mas: The Ten Steps

Welcome back! It’s day ten of our 12 days of X-mas celebration.

The “ten lords a-leaping” ran away when they saw this next film, but I’m sure you can handle it, horror fans. Please, enjoy.

The Ten Steps.

 

 

DAY TWO of Dirty Dozen, 12 Days of X-mas: La Cabina, a movie review by Dene Bebbington

DEADLY TELEPHONE BOXES

by: Dene Bebbington

A telephone box isn’t scary. Well, not unless you’ve seen the short surreal horror called La Cabina – translated to The Telephone Box in English. Dating back to 1972, this Spanish TV production by Antonio Mercero demonstrates perfectly that an innocuous fixture in the public sphere can become a source of terror. And the only monsters making an appearance in the film are human.

Horror writer Stephen King once likened reading a novel to having a long and satisfying affair. He contrasted that with a short story being like a quick kiss in the dark from a stranger. This metaphor can be carried over to films. La Cabina at a mere 35 minutes long leaves a lasting, and disturbing, impression because of its short and surreal nature. Like any good short horror story it provides no explanations for the situation that the victim finds himself in.

lacabina4

Only read on if you’re prepared for spoilers!

The story begins with four workmen in a phone company truck arriving at a plaza surrounded by apartment buildings. They unload a red telephone box from the back of the truck and install it in the middle of the plaza and leave its door ajar. A human venus fly trap has been set.

Shortly afterwards a middle aged suited man sees his son off to school and then decides to go into the telephone box to make a call. He soon finds that the phone is out of order, but while trying it the door has closed behind him. Initially puzzled that the door won’t open he then becomes agitated and tries to force it open, to no avail. He doesn’t have to wait long before two men walking by on their way to work spot his predicament and fruitlessly try to pull the door open. Unfortunately they can’t stick around and have to leave. More people have noticed what’s going on and a crowd starts to gather – obviously this is entertainment in a town where nothing much normally happens.

lacabina1

The mood of the film so far is fairly lighthearted, though it’s easy to feel sympathy for the man whose discomfort and embarrassment has become palpable now he’s also an object of curiosity and amusement. The next few minutes are played mainly for laughs as several people, including a couple of policemen, try to pull the phone box door open only to fail and fall over backward with the door handle in their hands. The crowd itself becomes a source of curiosity too. There’s a tall man stealing cakes from a tray a boy holds on his head; an old woman is invited to sit on a chair a man was taking somewhere; a couple of workmen stand around with a big mirror; and children taunt the trapped man.

Symbolism and homages quickly emerge. For instance, we notice that two of the onlookers are women sat chatting and knitting. This is presumably a reference to Madame Defarge who sits knitting while people go their deaths in Charles Dickens’ novel A Tale of Two Cities.

Eventually a fire truck arrives and the firemen decide to break the glass of the phone box. One of them gets on top of the box and is just about to smash the glass with a sledgehammer when the phone company truck comes back, its horn beeping for attention.

The phone company workmen proceed to load the phone box onto their truck. It’s at this point that the man inside realises that something is more than a little amiss with the situation. Despite his obvious panic and gestures to the workmen to get him out, the crowd wave him off with cries of “Good luck”. Having been so close to escape his fate is getting even more puzzling.

Like some kind of peculiar mobile freak show the truck drives through the town with the trapped man eliciting jokes by passers by and lots of friendly waves. Much to his chagrin, people continually misunderstand his gestures for help. On the way out of town they come to a halt in traffic and by the side of the road is a funeral party standing around a glass casket containing a corpse on display. This is an unsubtle way of signalling the man’s own fate. A little later while stopped at traffic lights another phone company truck pulls up alongside and on it is an identical phone box with a man stuck inside it. Looks of empathy and questioning pass between the two men before the other truck pulls away. Our man then becomes even more panicked and desperately tries to get the workmen’s attention to let him out. This is the first indication that he’s caught up in more than just an unlucky accident.

lacabina5

A neat touch is when we see a man briefly struggling to get out of a phone box by the side of the road. But in his case the door soon gives way, and he walks away little knowing what may have otherwise happened to him.

So now we know there’s a concerted effort to capture people. For what purpose we can only guess at, and will never find out. Around this time the soundtrack becomes portentous with low register rhythms. Driving out of the town there’s one final and meaningful encounter with other people. When the truck has to stop again some circus dwarves near the road look on, and they are the only ones to simply look and not laugh or wave. In return the man earnestly looks back at them. Maybe the dwarves who are used to being stared at because of their appearance identify with the man’s situation in which he’s an object of curiosity and fun. Then blatant symbolism enters when the camera focuses on a ship in a bottle held by one of the dwarves.

The journey continues on winding mountain roads, first up and then down. For no obvious a helicopter joins in following the truck from the air. Eventually the final destination gets closer as a tunnel into the mountainside is reached. The helicopter lands just outside and the pilot gets out to wave at the man as he disappears into the tunnel.

As the truck continues into an underground complex the soundtrack changes to sinister chanting in Latin somewhat like that used in The Omen. They pass men cleaning out phone boxes, and also a truck going the other way full of empty phone boxes. By this time the man is more anguished, but despite frantically banging on the glass he’s continually ignored. At this point I started to wonder, are the four workmen a metaphor for the four horsemen of the apocalypse, or is it just coincidence because four are needed to load and unload the phone box?

Soon after, the truck yields its unlikely cargo to an overhead crane that takes it away and passes it to a series of conveyor belts. The man’s bizarre fate is then made clear when he’s taken past corpses in telephone boxes identical to his own.

The man’s phone box comes to a halt next to one containing the other victim he saw earlier. That man has strangled himself with the phone cord rather than endure a lingering death.

lacabina3

It’s all over for the man. He now knows it yet still makes a last effort of banging on the glass hoping to be let out. Desperately aware that he’s doomed the final shot of him is slowly sliding down the glass of his coffin in despair and resignation. What started out as an ordinary day for an ordinary man has turned into the kind of thing that nightmares are made of.

Turning full circle the film ends at the plaza where a shiny new telephone box is installed and its door left open. We are left wondering how long it’ll be until some other hapless person attempts to make a call.

I first saw this film on TV late at night over 30 years ago and it’s been stuck vividly in my memory ever since. It’s truly terrifying, playing to archetypal fears like people ignoring your pleas for help and being buried alive. The trapped man is brilliantly played by Jose Luis Lopez Vazquez, a Spanish actor with a substantial list of acting credits to his name.

The film can be watched here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKkfGG9q32c

 

lacabina2

 

About the author:

Dene Bebbington works part-time in IT but feels more at home writing horror fiction. He’s had short stories published in various anthologies (Dark Corners, Dark Light III, Behind Closed Doors, and Disrupted Worlds to name a few), three stories as podcasts at The Wicked Library, and is the author of the ebook novellas Zombie Revelations and Stonefall. He lives in Wiltshire, England, with his wife and a tank of greedy tropical fish.

For more info visit:

www.denebebbington.co.uk

dene

 

 

 

 

The Dirty Dozen, 12 Days of X-mas – DAY ONE: The Seamstress

Hello kiddos! Welcome to Dirty Little Horror’s holiday celebration:

The Dirty Dozen: 12 Days Of X-mas!!!

It seems someone has MURDERED the 12 drummers drumming, the 11 pipers piping, and the 10 lords a-leaping. The 9 dancing ladies and 8 maids a-milking got it, too, and the horror goes down the line right to the stinking carcass of a dead partridge in a burning pear tree.

But fear not! (Or maybe you should get really, really scared…) We will make our own 12 days of X-mas, perfect for horror fans. Who needs turtle doves and french hens anyway?

let's get started

To kick off DAY ONE of our nearly two week celebration, we shall start with a short film: The Seamstress. I’ve also posted a schedule for our next eleven days in case anyone is curious what’s in store. Enjoy. And see you tomorrow!

 

 

Schedule:

Day One: The Seamstress, a short horror film

Day Two: La Cabina, a movie review by Dene Bebbington

Day Three: Spotlight on Adam Pixel Horrography

Day Four: Still Life, a short horror film

Day Five: Spotlight on Death March Studio

Day Six: Spotlight on Flatline Photography

Day Seven: Long Weekend, a movie review by Dene Bebbington

Day Eight: Great Holiday Gifts for the Hardcore Horror Fan

Day Nine: The Naughty List – X Rated Horror Fiction

Day Ten: The Ten Steps, a short horror film

Day Eleven: Spotlight on Devlish Photography

Day Twelve: Get your horror calendar by John J Dick to ring in the new year!

 

The Legend of Agatha Rose

Horror peeps! I was just on YouTube browsing new uploads under the keywords “horror short”, and I experienced one of those magical moments when you stumble upon an AWESOME short film! I had to share immediately. Enjoy…

Attack of the Brainsucker!!

ATTACK OF THE BRAINSUCKER

brainsucker

Wow. I really, really loved this short film. It was highly entertaining with a somber message. I’m being serious here: You’re missing out if you don’t take 14 minutes of your day to watch it!