“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.” – William W. Purkey
“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
“Do a loony-goony dance
‘Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain’t been there before.” – Shel Silverstein
Dancing. It makes us human. Whether we do it in front of others or bust a move in private when we hear our favorite song, most of us have enjoyed a little dancing. But in horror movies, dancing takes on a whole new element. It’s either absurdly out-of-place, insanely cheesy, eerily seductive, or downright creepy.
I offer you my Top Twelve Weirdest and Creepiest Horror Movie Dances. They are all listed here for different reasons… but all of them possess a certain WTF factor. Like seriously…. WTF?
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter – Total Spaz Dance
Okay, we all know this wasn’t the final chapter. But hopefully it was the final chapter in Crispin Glover’s dancing efforts. What is happening here?!?!?!
Insidious – Tiptoe Through The Tulips
Hey, even the ghosts of creepy little dead boys like to dance. Don’t hate.
Freddy’s Revenge – Jesse Cleans His Room
Jesse just moved into a new house and his parents are nagging him to get his room straightened up. So he vents his frustration in this awesome and very uncomfortable dance! Hahaha.
Dead & Breakfast – Zombie Line Dance
I don’t even… uhhh…. I don’t even know what to say about this one. I’m so confused. Lol.
Carrie – Spinning
I have to mention the dance from the original Carrie because I refuse to believe I’m the only person in the world who can’t watch this scene without getting queasy. I mean… the spinning. The spinning is too much. *gag*
Sleepwalkers – Getting The Job Done
Sticking with Stephen King, here’s a great scene from Sleepwalkers. Man, oh man, I wish I could have this much fun at work.
Night of the Demons – There’s Something Different About Angela
Is it just me, or does this chick make demonic possession look HAWT?
Evil Dead 2 – Dance of the Headless Lover
Poor Ash. The dead just never seem to stay dead for him.
Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse – Groovy Janitor
Sadly, I couldn’t find a high-quality clip of Blake Anderson (from Comedy Central’s Workaholics) dancing his way toward doom in Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse. But at least someone out there has uploaded something because, man, it’s so darn funny.
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning – Everyone’s A Critic
Hey, Jason, Violet’s dancing wasn’t that bad. It was actually sorta cute. You didn’t have to KILL her!! Sheesh!
Troll 2 – Holly Gets Down
Troll 2 was released in 1990, which meant the 80s were over. But as you can see from this clip, the 80s were still very much alive. And you have to admit, she’s got some pretty good moves.
Return of the Living Dead – Trash’s Strip Tease
Again, I apologize for the quality. It’s hard to find this video, I guess because of the adult content. But I could never leave out the nude graveyard dance from Return of the Living Dead.
So there you have it. My Top Twelve.
Horror is full of strange and wonderful dancing, so feel free to comment with your favorites. Thanks for reading.
Wow. This Korean short film is disturbing on a whole different level than my usual American fare. Spooky and powerful, I had to think about the ending, but it really spooked me once I *got it*, you know? Do you get it? Give it a go. 🙂
Description: Feeling isolated in a world where everyone wears the same surgically-altered appearance, a young girl takes extreme measures to change her own.
Charlie Chaplin once said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” I don’t know about that, but I know laughter is one of my favorite things in the world. Life can be grueling. Humans need comedy. For my next countdown, here are 12 movies that will keep you laughing AND sate your hunger for horror. Most of us have seen Army Of Darkness, Tucker & Dale Vs Evil, and Dead Alive, but here are a dozen you might have missed.
COTTAGE COUNTRY (2013)
When a man accidentally kills his brother with an ax, his fiancé is determined not to let even murder stand in the way of their happiness.
THE PERFECT HOST (2010)
A criminal on the run cons his way into the wrong dinner party where the host is anything but ordinary.
WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (2014)
Undead housemates try to cope with the complexities of the modern world while showing a newly turned hipster some of the perks of being a vampire.
THE VOICES (2014)
A likable guy pursues his office crush with the help of his evil talking pets, but things turn sinister when she stands him up for a date.
ZOMBIE STRIPPERS (2008)
A zombie epidemic spreads throughout a strip club in Nebraska.
LET’S KILL WARD’S WIFE (2014)
Ward’s wife is a bitch and everyone in his life wants her dead, Ward most of all. But when his friends’ murderous fantasies turn into an (accidental) reality, they have to deal with a whole new set of problems.
BUBBA HO-TEP (2002)
Elvis and JFK, both alive and in nursing homes, fight for the souls of their fellow residents as they battle an ancient Egyptian Mummy. Starring Bruce Campbell and based off a short story by Joe Lansdale.
KNIGHTS OF BADASSDOM (2013)
Live-action role players conjure up a demon from Hell by mistake and they must deal with the consequences. Starring Ryan Kwanten (who played Jason Stackhouse in True Blood).
MURDER PARTY (2007)
A random invitation to a Halloween party leads a man into the hands of a rogue collective intent on murdering him for the sake of their art, sparking a bloodbath of mishap, mayhem and hilarity.
DEAD BEFORE DAWN (2012)
A group of college kids accidentally create, and then unleash, a curse that makes anyone they come into contact with kill themselves and then turn into zombie demons.
MONSTER MAN (2003)
Two guys and a female hitchhiker are terrorized by a monstrous looking man driving a giant monster truck.
BLACK SHEEP (2006)
An experiment in genetic engineering turns harmless sheep into blood-thirsty killers that terrorize a sprawling New Zealand farm.
So there you have it. Twelve movies people never seem to recognize when I mention them but are truly horror comedy gold. Feel free to comment with more titles!
Welcome back! It’s day ten of our 12 days of X-mas celebration.
The “ten lords a-leaping” ran away when they saw this next film, but I’m sure you can handle it, horror fans. Please, enjoy.
The Ten Steps.
DEADLY TELEPHONE BOXES
by: Dene Bebbington
A telephone box isn’t scary. Well, not unless you’ve seen the short surreal horror called La Cabina – translated to The Telephone Box in English. Dating back to 1972, this Spanish TV production by Antonio Mercero demonstrates perfectly that an innocuous fixture in the public sphere can become a source of terror. And the only monsters making an appearance in the film are human.
Horror writer Stephen King once likened reading a novel to having a long and satisfying affair. He contrasted that with a short story being like a quick kiss in the dark from a stranger. This metaphor can be carried over to films. La Cabina at a mere 35 minutes long leaves a lasting, and disturbing, impression because of its short and surreal nature. Like any good short horror story it provides no explanations for the situation that the victim finds himself in.
Only read on if you’re prepared for spoilers!
The story begins with four workmen in a phone company truck arriving at a plaza surrounded by apartment buildings. They unload a red telephone box from the back of the truck and install it in the middle of the plaza and leave its door ajar. A human venus fly trap has been set.
Shortly afterwards a middle aged suited man sees his son off to school and then decides to go into the telephone box to make a call. He soon finds that the phone is out of order, but while trying it the door has closed behind him. Initially puzzled that the door won’t open he then becomes agitated and tries to force it open, to no avail. He doesn’t have to wait long before two men walking by on their way to work spot his predicament and fruitlessly try to pull the door open. Unfortunately they can’t stick around and have to leave. More people have noticed what’s going on and a crowd starts to gather – obviously this is entertainment in a town where nothing much normally happens.
The mood of the film so far is fairly lighthearted, though it’s easy to feel sympathy for the man whose discomfort and embarrassment has become palpable now he’s also an object of curiosity and amusement. The next few minutes are played mainly for laughs as several people, including a couple of policemen, try to pull the phone box door open only to fail and fall over backward with the door handle in their hands. The crowd itself becomes a source of curiosity too. There’s a tall man stealing cakes from a tray a boy holds on his head; an old woman is invited to sit on a chair a man was taking somewhere; a couple of workmen stand around with a big mirror; and children taunt the trapped man.
Symbolism and homages quickly emerge. For instance, we notice that two of the onlookers are women sat chatting and knitting. This is presumably a reference to Madame Defarge who sits knitting while people go their deaths in Charles Dickens’ novel A Tale of Two Cities.
Eventually a fire truck arrives and the firemen decide to break the glass of the phone box. One of them gets on top of the box and is just about to smash the glass with a sledgehammer when the phone company truck comes back, its horn beeping for attention.
The phone company workmen proceed to load the phone box onto their truck. It’s at this point that the man inside realises that something is more than a little amiss with the situation. Despite his obvious panic and gestures to the workmen to get him out, the crowd wave him off with cries of “Good luck”. Having been so close to escape his fate is getting even more puzzling.
Like some kind of peculiar mobile freak show the truck drives through the town with the trapped man eliciting jokes by passers by and lots of friendly waves. Much to his chagrin, people continually misunderstand his gestures for help. On the way out of town they come to a halt in traffic and by the side of the road is a funeral party standing around a glass casket containing a corpse on display. This is an unsubtle way of signalling the man’s own fate. A little later while stopped at traffic lights another phone company truck pulls up alongside and on it is an identical phone box with a man stuck inside it. Looks of empathy and questioning pass between the two men before the other truck pulls away. Our man then becomes even more panicked and desperately tries to get the workmen’s attention to let him out. This is the first indication that he’s caught up in more than just an unlucky accident.
A neat touch is when we see a man briefly struggling to get out of a phone box by the side of the road. But in his case the door soon gives way, and he walks away little knowing what may have otherwise happened to him.
So now we know there’s a concerted effort to capture people. For what purpose we can only guess at, and will never find out. Around this time the soundtrack becomes portentous with low register rhythms. Driving out of the town there’s one final and meaningful encounter with other people. When the truck has to stop again some circus dwarves near the road look on, and they are the only ones to simply look and not laugh or wave. In return the man earnestly looks back at them. Maybe the dwarves who are used to being stared at because of their appearance identify with the man’s situation in which he’s an object of curiosity and fun. Then blatant symbolism enters when the camera focuses on a ship in a bottle held by one of the dwarves.
The journey continues on winding mountain roads, first up and then down. For no obvious a helicopter joins in following the truck from the air. Eventually the final destination gets closer as a tunnel into the mountainside is reached. The helicopter lands just outside and the pilot gets out to wave at the man as he disappears into the tunnel.
As the truck continues into an underground complex the soundtrack changes to sinister chanting in Latin somewhat like that used in The Omen. They pass men cleaning out phone boxes, and also a truck going the other way full of empty phone boxes. By this time the man is more anguished, but despite frantically banging on the glass he’s continually ignored. At this point I started to wonder, are the four workmen a metaphor for the four horsemen of the apocalypse, or is it just coincidence because four are needed to load and unload the phone box?
Soon after, the truck yields its unlikely cargo to an overhead crane that takes it away and passes it to a series of conveyor belts. The man’s bizarre fate is then made clear when he’s taken past corpses in telephone boxes identical to his own.
The man’s phone box comes to a halt next to one containing the other victim he saw earlier. That man has strangled himself with the phone cord rather than endure a lingering death.
It’s all over for the man. He now knows it yet still makes a last effort of banging on the glass hoping to be let out. Desperately aware that he’s doomed the final shot of him is slowly sliding down the glass of his coffin in despair and resignation. What started out as an ordinary day for an ordinary man has turned into the kind of thing that nightmares are made of.
Turning full circle the film ends at the plaza where a shiny new telephone box is installed and its door left open. We are left wondering how long it’ll be until some other hapless person attempts to make a call.
I first saw this film on TV late at night over 30 years ago and it’s been stuck vividly in my memory ever since. It’s truly terrifying, playing to archetypal fears like people ignoring your pleas for help and being buried alive. The trapped man is brilliantly played by Jose Luis Lopez Vazquez, a Spanish actor with a substantial list of acting credits to his name.
The film can be watched here:
About the author:
Dene Bebbington works part-time in IT but feels more at home writing horror fiction. He’s had short stories published in various anthologies (Dark Corners, Dark Light III, Behind Closed Doors, and Disrupted Worlds to name a few), three stories as podcasts at The Wicked Library, and is the author of the ebook novellas Zombie Revelations and Stonefall. He lives in Wiltshire, England, with his wife and a tank of greedy tropical fish.
For more info visit:
Hello kiddos! Welcome to Dirty Little Horror’s holiday celebration:
The Dirty Dozen: 12 Days Of X-mas!!!
It seems someone has MURDERED the 12 drummers drumming, the 11 pipers piping, and the 10 lords a-leaping. The 9 dancing ladies and 8 maids a-milking got it, too, and the horror goes down the line right to the stinking carcass of a dead partridge in a burning pear tree.
But fear not! (Or maybe you should get really, really scared…) We will make our own 12 days of X-mas, perfect for horror fans. Who needs turtle doves and french hens anyway?
To kick off DAY ONE of our nearly two week celebration, we shall start with a short film: The Seamstress. I’ve also posted a schedule for our next eleven days in case anyone is curious what’s in store. Enjoy. And see you tomorrow!
Day One: The Seamstress, a short horror film
Day Two: La Cabina, a movie review by Dene Bebbington
Day Three: Spotlight on Adam Pixel Horrography
Day Four: Still Life, a short horror film
Day Five: Spotlight on Death March Studio
Day Six: Spotlight on Flatline Photography
Day Seven: Long Weekend, a movie review by Dene Bebbington
Day Eight: Great Holiday Gifts for the Hardcore Horror Fan
Day Nine: The Naughty List – X Rated Horror Fiction
Day Ten: The Ten Steps, a short horror film
Day Eleven: Spotlight on Devlish Photography
Day Twelve: Get your horror calendar by John J Dick to ring in the new year!
Horror peeps! I was just on YouTube browsing new uploads under the keywords “horror short”, and I experienced one of those magical moments when you stumble upon an AWESOME short film! I had to share immediately. Enjoy…
ATTACK OF THE BRAINSUCKER
Wow. I really, really loved this short film. It was highly entertaining with a somber message. I’m being serious here: You’re missing out if you don’t take 14 minutes of your day to watch it!
Hey there, stranger! Long time, no blog! My bad. Life sure does get busy sometimes!
I’ve been wanting to share this post for a while but haven’t had time to. Below are my personal picks for the Dirty Dozen: Top 12 Horror Movies You Might Have Missed.
I realize some of you hardcore horror buffs will roll your eyes and say, “I’ve seen ALL of those”, but I’m willing to bet 90% of you will find a couple new titles. And for the casual horror fan, there’s bound to be more than a few. In no particular order:
As the new night nurse at a soon to be abandoned children’s hospital readies the last group of orphans to leave, it becomes increasingly clear that these are not normal children. Something living in the hospital, something the children call the “mechanical girl,” has a terrifying hold over them and will stop at nothing to keep them in the hospital with her forever.
A birthday clown returns from the dead to exact revenge upon a boy and a group of children who contributed to his death. This movie has some very inventive murders, and I highly recommend it to anyone who appreciates gore done well.
Come Back To Me
Based on the novel THE RESURRECTIONIST by Wrath James White, this movie follows main character Sarah who keeps waking up under strange circumstances with no memory of falling asleep. When she finds some of her clothes covered in blood and discovers she is pregnant, though her husband is sterile, she realizes what’s happening to her is more than just night terrors.
This movie went beyond my expectations. Original story, engulfing suspense, quality acting, great effects. Just WATCH IT!
A man’s investigation into his long-dead parents’ demise leads to the haunted family mansion and a date with a demon.
Dude… I could not look away. This movie has a real “WTF” factor. It’s always uncomfortable stepping into the lives of serial murderers, but watching one try to train a young boy to be the same? So demented.
Because you cannot run from yourself…
After being captured for a series of gruesome murders, Horace Pinker faces execution by the electric chair — but a deal with the devil allows him to come back as electricity and exact his revenge.
When a family en route to a Christmas Eve gathering decides to takes a shortcut down a wooded road, an eerie sequence of events signals trouble ahead. After nearly colliding with an oncoming car, father Frank (Ray Wise) picks up a ghostly hitchhiker (Amber Smith) and her infant child. With the sudden appearance of their new passengers, the route becomes dark and treacherous — and the family’s numbers rapidly begin to dwindle in a series of seemingly connected, grisly roadside accidents.
I was going to post a trailer for this movie, but the trailer I watched SPOILED a ton of the very unique murder scenes! Do yourself a favor, if you haven’t seen this one yet, don’t watch the trailer, just watch the movie!
Mum & Dad
A series of murders linked to the tragic deaths of schoolchildren 50 years earlier leads a young woman to unravel the dark mystery of her town.
Okay, that’s it for this list. If you’ve seen all twelve, please leave a comment so I can give you a horror high five!!!
I just watched What We Do In The Shadows, and I had to hop online and recommend it right away! From start to finish, I laughed. This is a documentary-style film and has a “real footage” feel (in a hilarious, over-the-top sort of way). It follows a cast of quibbling but brotherly undead roommates. The dialogue between main characters Viago, Deacon, and Vladislav is sharp and witty, and supporting character, Peter, is a grotesque Nosferatu-type vampire who makes the whole set-up ridiculously funny. Add in a newborn vamp, a couple loyal humans, a mix of other monsters, and some great comedy writing, and you’ve got What We Do In The Shadows. I haven’t laughed so hard at a horror comedy in a while. Even The Voices with Ryan Reynolds (which I highly recommend!) didn’t keep me in stitches like this one. If you haven’t seen it, track it down. You won’t regret it.